Ambitious Theatre Major To Put On Unabomber Musical
he project, tentatively titled “Blow Me,” will be a jukebox musical that covers the true story of Ted Kaczynski sending two homemade bombs to Northwestern University in 1978 and 1979.
Category Archives: Year 16
CBS Execs Confirm R-Rated “Young Sheldon’s Big Bang” Coming March 2024
Despite the ongoing SAG-AFTRA strike, CBS executives have announced that “Young Sheldon” star Iain Armitage will appear in an R-rated spinoff movie, “Young Sheldon’s Big Bang”, in March 2024. The movie will feature Armitage as an eighth-year super senior rushing a frat, boofing a keg, and subsequently finding the love of his life in the cancer ward of a hospital. CBS Chief Marketing Officer, Watchmi Mouvi, explained the network’s thought process behind the movie. “You know, when it comes down
Acapella vs. White Feminism: Which Is The Greatest Evil Of Our Time?
There’s no pentagram on the floor but the cult of acapella consumes public spaces… But life could be worse, right? You could be a white woman.
BREAKING: Pete Davidson Now Dating God, States: “She’s Fine In Bed, I Guess”
When asked to comment, the stand-up comic maintained that a gentleman “never bangs our Lord and tells”.
“I’m Grateful All The Time, I’m Sexy and I’m Kind, I’m Pretty When I Cry” And Other Things Kevin McCarthy Wrote In His Diary While Crying
McCarthy confessed that he had been taking solace in his diary and had been writing the lyrics “I’m grateful all the time/ I’m sexy, and I’m kind/ I’m pretty when I cry.”
 Ask Flippy: Am I Gay Quiz?
I’m reaching out this week because I’ve had a concerning thought cross my mind: am I gay quiz?
After Success Of Barbenheimer, Studios Prepare For Next Creation: “Bratz-Jong Un”
“We have much more in store,” the studios commented, “including a limited-edition Kim Jong Un Bratz doll with matching missile accessories.”
NUFB Says Mayo Tub Fight Night “Not Hazing, Just Business”
Despite outcry from many current and former students, NUFB claims that its most recent scandal — Mayo Tub Fight Night — was “not hazing, just business”.
From The Future: University President Finally Emerges From Deep Freezer After Ill-Fated Chill With Schill Event
Schill rejoins a modern faculty comprised primarily of AI lecturers, sentient Lakefill geese and tenure-track professors kept alive on a combination of virgin blood and spite.
“I Pivoted”: The Moment Offset’s Dillo DJ Realized Northwestern Was A PWI
To save the day, he turned to one of his playlists titled “Tighty Whities,” a term he created to describe songs that white people, who still use the word “tight,” think are “tight.”