This is Hubert Parsley (class of ’20), speaking to you live on-air from the newly-repurposed Telegraph Room in Deering, Northwestern’s only library.
“Have a crush on Dr. Fauci? Come watch some of his press conferences with us!”
He had paused on step 3 of 32 (“Set the mood with a romantic compliment”).
Window-facing screams “pensive philosophy major thinks they’re better than you and might be.”
Musciato refused to answer why he required such an abundance of lemons for the year to come, but it was quickly made clear that he had an obsession with citrus fruits that perhaps overrode his love of mathematics.
The pair, both 19 and Gemini suns, discovered they were expecting after a night of passion on the Bobb-McCulloch lounge couch, and were set on delivering the baby as naturally as possible.
“They would simply shove you whatever cold porridge they have, and you would be expected to not only eat it, but share it with a bunch of lazy freeloaders and pay taxes on it!”
Then I look over at Chad Chadson’s post and he has response after response. I mean come on! All he said was that women are “cool” and that we just need to “like not be sexist”. Even my TA dropped a response: “So true bestie”. Am I that irrelevant?
“When I tried to give her a tissue, she started crying about how Dulé Hill was underutilized. I don’t know where she’s getting all this from. She’s only seen four episodes, and it was during her eighth-grade speech and debate class.”
Spam Risk sounds kind of rugged. Smells like pine. Those two-syllable names really get me. Like… James Bond. Or Hugh Grant.