Michael BublĂ© to drop ten-minute version of “Santa Baby”
Bublé bares all with fans, expressing wishes like “a multi-seasonal career”.
Category Archives: No. 338
Ask Flippy (Film Guy Perspective): What??? You HAVEN’T SEEN The Dark Knight??? Okay Hahaa We Toootally Have to Watch it Sometime
Um anyway I was just thinking about The Dark Knight. It’s such a classic and Gary Oldman is so sexy
Former Willie The Wildcat Student Mascot Reflects On Days In The Fur: ‘The Tail Plug Always Started To Chafe By Halftime’
“Turns out a Wildcat win can bring extreme pleasure in more ways than one,” Nal reflected.
Prospective Off-Campus Residents Alarmed to see White Male Mediocrity Also Applies to Landlords
“Having high expectations only to realize that I’ve just found yet another guy with commitment issues and an inability to fix basic problems? That’s what I expect from my boyfriends, not the man I pay $1,000 monthly.”
Awoooooooooga! Morty steps out in some tight pants
“I never thought I would ever have the urge to call Morty a dame,” said Michael “But there I was, holding my eyeballs in their sockets so they wouldn’t pop out like a Looney Tunes horndog.”
Op-Ed: Unless they can touch his prostate, do NOT market your presents as “Gifts For Him”
If you want to see a man’s face light up, get him something that will leave his legs shaking and booty aching.Â
Vice President Harris Denies Thanksgiving Turkey’s Pardon While Biden Is In Surgery
“Do you think China pardons an animal before they consume thousands of members of their species? Of course not, so it’s time for us to stop being a bunch of wusses and slaughter them all.”
BP Reveals New Seasonal PR Tactic: “We Wanted To Bring Hanukkah To The Fish”
“There are about 9 million types of ground-up whitefish in your standard Gefilte,” said new company spokesperson Benjamin Cohenbaum-Goldsteinfarb. “I’m sure at least a few of them live in the Gulf, and I’m sure at least a few of those are Jewish and would appreciate some free supplies to celebrate the festival of lights.”
As punishment for botched season, football team must give up Charmin privileges
Jimmy John told reporters. “Now they have something else out of the toilet to work for—being decent enough at a sport to earn Charmin’s soft, gentle kiss.”