3 hours later she pulls up in her â11 Ford Focus RS and parks behind my momâs Sienna. I let her in, and we sit down on the OFF-WHITE x IKEA couch. Iâm playin bass stems off Donda 2 from my Kanye West Stem Player; just straight up babymakin music to get my girl HARD.
âHe literally said his favorite movie was the Zapruder film! I had no idea what that was, so I excused myself to head to the bathroom to Google it and dipped as soon as I found out what it was. What a freak!â
A new TikTok trend has gained popularity with men over forty and anyone suffering under late-stage capitalism. The #poemsbywillieloman trend went viral after account posted a series of videos of him speeding home while violently shaking his head to the beat of Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO, with this poem written in the caption:
âI never thought I would ever have the urge to call Morty a dame,â said Michael âBut there I was, holding my eyeballs in their sockets so they wouldnât pop out like a Looney Tunes horndog.â
But whatâs even crazier is that it seems like my work is at its peak when the coughs around me are particularly nasty. Or in simpler terms: the wetter the better!
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I conducted a completely unbiased poll sent exclusively to other lonely singles, andâsure enoughâwe have a scourge of couples on campus.
“Here are five ways to style one of Summer 2021âs hottest new trends.”
âI got a vaccine plug from a buddy of mine in Kappa Delta Moderna, and I was just looking to get lit, get wild, and vaccinate some shawties,â
âToo long hath these Pfizer and Moderna knaves parried with the virus. They flash thine fancy swords and dance around in thine gilded boots, but those swineâs art COWARDS. Sir Johnson shall end it all in a single blow!â