Breaking: “We Are Charlie Kirk” To Be Featured on Just Dance 2027
Definitely-not-AI-generated hit song “We Are Charlie Kirk” by celebrated artist Spalexma will be featured on the 2027 edition of popular video game Just Dance.
Category Archives: Uncategorized
Ayatollah Mojtaba Khamenei on War Ceasefire: “Jesus Christ Is My One True Lord and Savior”
Reporting from Tehran, Iran. Although the outbreak of war between the United States and Iran seemed destined to happen since the late Ayatollah Ali Khamenei came out in support of the full release of the Epstein files, less easily predicted was President Trump’s recent reversion to the Islamic Faith by reciting the Shahada on his Truth Social account. Not to be outdone, however, the new Supreme Leader of Iran and son of Ali Khamenei, Ayatollah Mojtaba Khamenei, publicly announced his conversion to Christianity by proclaiming
Op-Ed: Honestly It Shouldn’t Be That Hard to Avoid Eleven Bread for Eight Days
First of all, what do they mean when they say “eleven bread”? Eleven pieces of bread? Eleven slices? Eleven baguettes?
A Day In My Life As The Ping Pong Paddle On Set Of Marty Supreme
It’s 7:00 AM. I’m ripped out my case. They call them props people, but to me, they’re my captors.
Student Punished for Line Violation at Porno Pizza; Hammurabi’s Code Invoked.
On Wednesday afternoon, a female student at Porno Pizza committed the grave error of approaching the personal pie line while intending to order a slice. Eyewitnesses report that she was immediately seized and escorted to the rear of the establishment, where staff administered the punishment prescribed by the Porno Code, an adaptation of Hammurabi’s ancient legal statutes codified in grease-stained laminate. According to witnesses, the student pleaded for leniency. “I just wanted a slice,” she reportedly said. “I didn’t know.”
Ask Flippy: I (19M) recently saw the last Sarge grilled cheese sandwich (~0.001Unknown) taken by an elderly diabetic woman (104F) and proceeded to fuck her up with my glock (9MM), AITA?
After long, draining days of blowing off classes and clubs to watch Family Guy Youtube shorts and sleepless nights of blowing off homework to watch Family Guy Youtube shorts, I need a refresher to get me going again, and nothing does it quite like a Sarge dining hall grilled cheese. Something magical is in the air at Sarge (and I’m not talking about zaza) that turns two slices of white bread and kraft cheese into the ambrosia of the gods.
Ask Flippy: I Saw My Parents Watching “Fifty Shades of Grey” When I Was 9, Does That Explain Why I Am This Way?
Then, I started to remember another incident. The incident. You see, when I was 9 walked into the living room and saw my parents watching Fifty Shades of Grey on the TV. It was the ice cube scene. Right before what I now know is called some “hot fucking shit”.
Ask Flippy: The Doctor Said My Joints are Messed Up. How Do I Show this Clown I Roll the Best?
Dear Flippy, Last week I went to the doctor for a long-overdue checkup (I’m United Healthcare and figured they probably wouldn’t want to deny my claim). Overall, I’m in good health! My blood pressure is down to 170/100, and my doctor said my weight is in the 95th percentile for my height–which means lower than 95% of the population. How could he tell I’d been dieting? There’s just one problem: He said he was worried about my joints. Something about
Top 5 AP Classes the Liberal Education System Will Inseminate You With
Ron DeSantis plans to order the Florida National Guard to send everyone who receives a 5 to his personal gulag.
BREAKING: RFK Jr. Admits to Starting Hurricane Milton; “Yea Katrina was me too haha”
In a shocking turn of events this past weekend, RFK Jr., has admitted to being the starting force behind Hurricane Milton.