Tenured Professor Actually Just Dad who Got Separated from Tour Group
“Not knowing what else to do, I wandered into Lunt Hall, found an empty office, and just set up shop. The rest took care of itself.”
Category Archives: Headline
Sorority Girl Already Planning Vomit Spot for this Weekendās Blackout
Her itinerary includes nine drinks, three frats, two random boys, and one trip to Lisaās to end the night.
Professor Too Busy Rekindling Marriage to Grade Midterm
āHonestly itās just been me spending more time at home and making married life feel less empty, but itās definitely for the best.ā
Sex Week Comes Early, Organizers Embarrassed
āFrankly, we, the organizers of Sex Week, were just as blindsided as the students. The whole thing just blew up in our face. It was a complete mess.ā
Area Mom to Run Tomorrow
āRunning is just one part of it; Iām also going to be eating healthier and keeping a track of my daily activities.ā
Curious Sophomore Disappears after Asking to See NU Landscaping Budget
āThereās something huge in those files. Maybe itās just that the landscaping contractors skim some off the top, but maybe thereās something they donāt want us to know.ā
Econ Major Relies on āInvisible Handā to Choose Apartment
“Given the counterintuitive nature of economic forcesāand how they seem to be a reasonable substitute for proactive decision making at the Cato InstituteāIām bound to get a good place.ā
Fraternity to Haze with Aggressive Emotional Support
“Itās more devastating than taking shots till we puke.ā
Weinberg Junior to Attempt Eighth Different Note-Taking Method
Having already found that his grade decreases as his distance from the lecturer increases, Isaacs hopes to find a similar pattern through his increasingly robust data on what factors correlate most with success.
Diverse Fraternity Gets Second Black Guy
Coming on the heels of Beta Beta Betaās ground-breaking decision last year to get their first black guy, this diverse fraternity is once again shifting the paradigm of what it means to be inclusive.