New Soft-Core Porn Magazine Started Featuring Locked-Out Freshmen
“Can I please have the backup set of keys for room 437 and some pasties?”
Category Archives: Headline
Jonas Direction Splits Up again to Form Miley and Sons
But that still doesn’t change the fact that no one cares.
Mayor Tisdahl Cancels A&O Blowout for Fear of “Group Love”
Singer You’ve Never Heard of Writes Open Letter to Singer You Don’t Care About
“I never meant to start a war…”
Science Invents Self-Assembling Robots; Going to Kill You
“Yeah, we’re really sorry about those Terminator movies.”
Lisa Myers, WCAS ’16, Launches Class Action Lawsuit against Lisa’s Café on Behalf of All NU Lisas
Fire Alarm in Hinman During Game Confirms Which Students Don’t Give a Shit about Football
“Are we winning?”
Substance-Free Hall Wins Beer Pong Tournament
“Ittall hashta do witsh thee whrist…”
NRA Begins Program to Hand Out Free Guns to People Who Look Like Good Guys
“I’m sorry sir, but you’ll need to shave that ‘stache before I can hand you one of these AKs.”
Tom Clancy Dies; Cold War Finally Over