Report: Northwestern’s Qatar Campus Just Basement of Hinman
“I just wanted to make Northwestern look like it has more global outreach. To be honest, I don’t even know if Qatar is a real country.”
Category Archives: World
Joan of Arc Was Seriously Lit
‘The Maid of OrlĂ©ans did what most teenagers do and lit up at least once, according to our historical data.”
Abroad Student Decides Uganda Isn’t So Bad
Sources report that this revelation occurred when he saw Donald Trump insult veterans, Muslims, Republicans, and fucking babies in just the past week.
Syrian Refugees Refuse Opportunity to Live in Bobb Hall
EVANSTON – In a gracious attempt to do its part in the increasingly turbulent Syrian refugee crisis, Northwestern University has offered to take in up to 25 Syrian families and host them in unoccupied rooms in Bobb Hall, but upon visiting their prospective homes, the selected families promptly declined. Bobb RA Meera Nahas was chosen to show the families around Northwestern last week, and he says they seemed largely pleased with the beauty of the campus. “That’s until I took
FOX News Claims France is Dead
The situation in France has worsened to a point that FOX News, yesterday, just decided to announce that in the scheme of things, “France is DEAD.”
Canadian Baseball Fan Incensed by Cooperstown Decision
Canadian McGriff fails to make it into the Baseball Hall of Fame. Oh, no Canada.
UN Realizes It Forgot to Crown Winner in Space Race
“It was outrageous!” said Andrei Karamazov, while knocking back a flask of clear liquid that he insisted was “potato soup.”
ASG President Julia Zorn Plans World Domination
While campaigning for ASG President last year, Zorn listed her political inspirations as Kim-Jong Un, Joseph Kony, and “that evil woman in Ghostbusters.”
US Secretary of Problem Solving Proposes Obvious Solution to Floods, Fires
When a vicious tiger escaped from a zoo and terrorized local neighborhoods, the obvious solution was to build a tall fence around the area where the tiger was roaming.
Flipside Reporters Return from Sochi Sunburnt, Laid (Winter Olympics Recap)
In case you missed any of The Flipside’s Winter Olympics coverage, the links below will make sure you get the scoop on what really went down in Sochi this year.