“Like hello, the first person to offer me a cigarette was wearing Chanel and Dior head to toe. Of course I trusted her.”
This past November, as we’ve seen so many times before, Spotify Wrapped took the world by storm with its sleek presentation style and the implementation of geographical identifications according to your listening habits. Some users, however, said they received an odd and politically contentious message that read, “This year, your listening took you places, and one place listened just like you: the independent nation of Taiwan.” Some of our readers may know that the political status of Taiwan is a
The man was happy. I am going to eat this man.
Now that your roommate has finally returned home from his Halloweekend bender at U of I, it’s time to get ready for the holidays. Reports say that Northwestern’s administration is well-aware of the impending season and is “itching to finally get some good press for the first time since we filled in that lake.” Exclusive reports from within the offices of the Michael Schill, famed cheese lover and pet sniffer, indicate that the institution would like to expand the festivities
On November 8th, 2023, the world shook as a fundamental rule was broken. Children cried, priests prayed, and citizens everywhere trembled in the face of potential ruin…
Spend 24 hours in a Waffle House, get a tattoo of your friend’s choosing, or perform at an open mic. These are some of the most popular fantasy football punishments for the poor saps who finish last in their league, but once upon a time a man made the news for his WILD punishment. And you’ll never guess what he did or who he did it to. John Wilkes Booth was just a regular joe competing in his local fantasy
DINOSAUR GO! One must question the system I expect we shall soon find ourselves operating beneath — a system in which the oligarchs of society control the upper echelon outside of the laws binding those beneath them.
But seriously, even just writing about it, I am completely freaking out right now.
“Kids today, only want iPhone and hot chip. No appreciation for flint knapping or nomadic lifestyle,” said Stonespear while eying my processed food nervously.
There have also been various movements to decide what should replace these lost Women’s History Months. Polling aggregate and news site Buzzfeed is the current battleground for the decision. According to the website, the current leading options are Free Dairy Queen Cone Month, Pride Month 2, Grandparents’ Month, and Monthy McMonthface.