According to Northwestern’s football coach, this torture was deliberate. During the off-season, he has turned to emotional tactics to try and get the Northwestern football team out of their slump.
Northwestern Football Spends $10 Billion on Performance Enhancing Drugs for Players, Still Can’t Seem to Win
There’s just something about those rocks that gets my mind thinking and my body moving
“Makes me sick that they think the quality of that boy’s skull is more important than football”
They are a plague on this campus – the likes of which have never been and will never be seen again.
“At first, I didn’t mind, since I’m tremendously committed to school spirit.”
“Carrying a small, sad, modern equivalent of Gabriel’s horn gives me to motivation to walk until my toe cartilage is worn away.”
“Too long hath these Pfizer and Moderna knaves parried with the virus. They flash thine fancy swords and dance around in thine gilded boots, but those swine’s art COWARDS. Sir Johnson shall end it all in a single blow!”
“The trick is to sit real still and not breathe too much,” describes Bregman, who claims he wanted to get the authentic ballpark experience without the hassle of paying for tickets or obeying pesky federal guidelines. “I got used to not breathing when I pretended to be dead so my kids could claim life insurance,” he said.
The New York Jets of the National Football League are gaining increasing media attention following their sudden four game winning streak against some of the toughest teams in the league, which came after they figured out the playbook needed to be flipped around. Following rumors that NY Jet’s head coach Adam Gase would be removed in the event of another team loss, the ever-scheming playcaller knew he had to whip up something special before taking on the 2-2 Arizona Cardinals.