Flipside Investigative Report: Where Do All the Uneaten Dining Hall Chickpeas Go?
Where do all the uneaten chickpeas go? A Qatar-based cryptocurrency is only the beginning of the story…
Category Archives: Sci/Tech
Report: Your Boyfriend Cheated On You Because He Has âANDâ In His DNAÂ
After years of grueling research and testing, these researchers were thrilled to discover that the high rates of infidelity in male students on campus was due to the gene, and not just their shitty personalities.
What Net Neutrality Means For Us
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Seismologists Detect Signs that Dormant Student Might Wake Up Soon
“We have sufficient reason to believe the long-dormant student will emerge from slumber imminently,â lead scientist Veronica Tyson said at a press conference today. âAlso, his alarm has been going off for the past 20 minutes.â
CAESAR Redesign Actually Just CoolMathGames.com Clone
“Games such as Raft Wars and the Worldâs Hardest Game will be the new norm, rather than the old useless resources such as CTECs and class descriptions.”
New CompSci Class Unveiled, ‘Navigating CAESAR For Non-Majors’
“Couldnât some of Northwesternâs Hamilton ticket budget go to making a class registration site that doesnât look like it was made in 1997?â
Study Confirms That, Despite Wanting to, Gays Cannot Create Hurricanes
“Itâs not like we havenât tried,” said Ainsley.
Study: Babies Scream More When Punched
According to onlookers, the UChicago adjunct balled up his fistâfull of scientific curiosityâand punched the âalready-sobbing, tomato-faced little shitâ square in the face.
Study: Theatre Majors Flammable
CLEVELAND â From the ashes of recent tragedy, a new study out of Case Western Reserve University seems to confirm the not-wholly-unexpected fact that theatre majors are, indeed, flammable. The experiment sparked national attention when it was first published in the journal Annals of Internal Medicine earlier this month, taking heavy criticism for its potentially discriminatory attitude towards ESFJsâas measured by Myers-Briggsâand for its possibly unethical potential for grievous bodily harm caused by combusting theatre majors. Working off preliminary data
Five-Star Engineering Recruit Verbally Commits to McCormick
Conforto has not been free from out-of-the-classroom controversy, however. Some of his former high school mathletes allege he once tried a sip of beer at a party.