Obit: Local Student Found Dead After Being on Hold with Residential Services About Mold in Bobb for 17 Hours
“By the time it went to voicemail sixteen hours later, spores were already growing out of her corpse.â
“By the time it went to voicemail sixteen hours later, spores were already growing out of her corpse.â
The study, conducted amongst top-ten ranking schools in collaboration with the Collective of United Mansplainers (CUM), revealed interesting neurological and physiological responses triggered in the male brain.
âMy face is flakier than Northwesternâs male population, and my knees and elbows are so cracked that James Franco could get trapped down there for 127 hours.”
âHere for a long time, not a good timeâ
âI got a text from Color last night saying âWhat that mouth do?ââ
A whopping 78% actually report the accounts that posted the stories for spam content
“Both candy corn and its enjoyers have no taste, will show up uninvited at your Halloween parties and can, if so compelled, clog up your ear.”
I know that people assume I am a pretentious asshole who is completely full of myself. All of these assumptions are valid.
In recent months, the FDA has released several warnings about certain hand sanitizer companies producing faulty content. This downgrade in average quality of hand sanitizer has concerned epidemiologists and doctors alike, but most perturbed are longtime self-proclaimed members of the hand sanitizer fandom. âItâs just disappointing,â said Sandy Teiser, 33. âEven my son, who would never wash his hands when toldâlet alone use soapânow carries five bottles of half-rate hand sanitizer everywhere he goes. Thereâs no way to distinguish between
âOnce the lights start blinking, itâs a warning to predators and pathogens alike: donât mess with the Thermoflash.â