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Category Archives: Sci/Tech

Half of Astronaut’s Salary Goes to Beer for the Trip Up

May 15, 2009 Nick Zessis Leave a comment

CAPE CANAVERAL, FL—Atlantis’ astronauts grabbed hold of the Hubble Space Telescope at the end of last week, quickly setting their sights on the unprecedented spacewalking repairs they will attempt over the next couple of days. “It’s going to be tough,” explained head astronaut, Jim Bernstein. “My hands are shaking just thinking about it. One wrong move and we could float off into space.” The Atlantis astronauts tried to keep cool on the way up as a way to cope with

New “Unpopular Science” Magazine Only Popular with Unpopular Crowd

May 8, 2009 Nick Zessis Leave a comment

CHICAGO—It is clear that print media has faced hard times as of late. In an interesting revival tactic, Popular Science Magazine is attempting to counter the downturn by releasing a new sister publication entitled Unpopular Science. The format of the new magazine is similar to that of Popular Science, which features innovations from some of today’s most interesting scientific fields. Unpopular Science, however, focuses mainly on geology. “We were really trying to broaden our demographics,” noted the president of Popular

Acquisition of 3 Hole Punch Triples Intern’s Productivity

February 27, 2009 Nick Zessis Leave a comment

WHEELING, IL—Bernardo Johnson, intern of Midland Paper, was honored today for the Intern of the Year Award. Johnson, a 39-year-old graduate of the University of North Dakota, has been working for Midland for 14 years. This is the first award for Bernardo, as his recent purchase of a Swingline 3-Hole punch has allowed for the company’s stock status reports to be processed three times faster. An over joyous Johnson told The Flipside, “Maybe they’ll finally hire me. I haven’t paid