Iran Releases List of 52 American Cultural Sites to Bomb, 43 Burger King Locations, Other 9 Jimmy Johnās
Some of Americaās most coveted cultural traditions find their roots in a handful of these Burger King locales.
Category Archives: Politics
In Complete 180, The Daily Northwestern to Publish Names, Numbers, and Addresses of All Student Protesters
Weāre not going to let little things like ājournalistic integrityā and ārestraining ordersā stop us.
From the Archives–Op-Ed: Charlie Chaplin should Stick to Silent Movies, Keep his Political Views out of Talkies
This film is his first ātalkieā and boy does he talkie a lot.
Scandal Breaks as The Rock Is Discovered To Be A Legacy Student
āThat chunk of sandstone had some powerful friends. Thereās no harm in me meeting with an applicant personally, sharing intimate secrets, exchanging phone numbers, and making secret handshakes. It gives the student no advantages whatsoever.ā
Wisconsin Dairy Farmers Angered by Trump Administration Support of Turkey, Abandonment of Curds as Favored Protein Source
Already, many curd groups are striking deals with the Russian and Syrian governments to remain competitive, receiving aid in the form of milk pasteurizers and arms shipments.
TRUMP IMPEACHED: That Got Your Attention, Huh Paula? Now Will You Please Let Me Talk to the Kids?
In a move preceded only twice in the history of this hallowed nation, House speaker Nancy Pelosi has begun the lengthy journey that could end in — Iām sorry, I canāt do this anymore, Paula pleaseĀ let me talk to the kids. Iāve made mistakes. I know that. Iām not blind to my faults, babe. But I shouldnāt have to get into college at 41, feign interest at the most tedious info meetings Iāve ever been to and go through the
Sanders Overpowers Anesthesia During Emergency Surgery to Advocate for Universal Health Care
āIāve never seen anything like it,ā said surgeon Liam Docter. āWe gave him enough anesthesia to paralyze a horse, but he just kept telling us that health care was a human right and that the current market did nothing but feed the pockets of fat executives.ā
Twins Named Georgia and Alabama Opt for Name Change
“Itās like they think theyāre fully autonomous people or somethin!”
A Flipside investigation: If you rearrange the letters of Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor, you get Northwestern hrmnaoibsdraantiiocu
Meghan Markle did not explicitly name her son after Northwestern. Duh. As anyone who has watched The Princess Diaries would know, royals have to be discreet.
Kirstjen Nielsen Resigns Upon Realizing she Forgot Where she Put the Key to the Cages
Despite what she is calling a āminor inconvenience,ā Nielsen says she is trying to look on the bright side.