From the Archives: Y2K Poses Biggest Threat to Mankind in History
“I’m willing to lose all of my documents, memories and digital pornography if it means companies saving money that I will never see.”
Category Archives: Politics
Mr. Ratburn Endorses Buttigieg, says He Best Represents the Gay Elitist Rat Demographic
“If me and my husband are cute enough to get every conservative state but Alabama to run our wedding on children’s network television, Pete and Chasten are for sure cute enough for any other issues with his platform to just get totally overlooked.”
Biden Suggests Having His “Techy” Niece Take a Crack at Iowa Voting App
“Why, back in nineteen-tickety-six if something broke, you fixed it. Simple as that. I don’t see what the hold-up is here,” said Biden. The former vice president then went on to tell a long-winded personal anecdote about his father’s days as a used car salesman.
From the Archives: Pete Buttigieg Announces Himself Valedictorian Before Grades Officially Released
The school announced Monday that the reporting of semester grades was delayed because of “inconsistencies” in some teachers’ grading.
Tom Steyer Agrees His Children Do Not Deserve Free College, Love and Affection, Food
“He touted how he has not put a single penny toward his children’s health and well-being, including not paying for vaccinations or shoes.
Iran Releases List of 52 American Cultural Sites to Bomb, 43 Burger King Locations, Other 9 Jimmy John’s
Some of America’s most coveted cultural traditions find their roots in a handful of these Burger King locales.
In Complete 180, The Daily Northwestern to Publish Names, Numbers, and Addresses of All Student Protesters
We’re not going to let little things like ‘journalistic integrity’ and ‘restraining orders’ stop us.
From the Archives–Op-Ed: Charlie Chaplin should Stick to Silent Movies, Keep his Political Views out of Talkies
This film is his first “talkie” and boy does he talkie a lot.
Scandal Breaks as The Rock Is Discovered To Be A Legacy Student
“That chunk of sandstone had some powerful friends. There’s no harm in me meeting with an applicant personally, sharing intimate secrets, exchanging phone numbers, and making secret handshakes. It gives the student no advantages whatsoever.”
Wisconsin Dairy Farmers Angered by Trump Administration Support of Turkey, Abandonment of Curds as Favored Protein Source
Already, many curd groups are striking deals with the Russian and Syrian governments to remain competitive, receiving aid in the form of milk pasteurizers and arms shipments.