Politics | Northwestern Flipside

Category Archives: Politics

Palin Suffering from Post-Election Tourette’s Syndrome

February 6, 2009 Scott Grindy Leave a comment

JUNEAU, AK—Alaska Governor and former Vice-Presidential Candidate Sarah Palin is suffering from Post-Traumatic Election Tourette’s Syndrome, say doctors at Juneau Central Medical Center. The Governor was rushed to the hospital from her hometown of Wasilla on Wednesday, January 28th and has been observation ever since. “I saw her walking down the street, and went over to give her a hello, and all she could say was ‘Maverick maverick 9/11 terrorist Joe sixpack.’ I was so confused,” said Wasilla resident and

Cheney in Wheelchair at Obama’s Inauguration; One Step Forward, Two Steps Back in Becoming Dark Sith Lord

January 23, 2009 Adam Adler Leave a comment

WASHINGTON—Last Tuesday, former Vice President Dick Cheney moved one step closer towards achieving his lifetime goal of becoming a Sith Lord. At President Barack Obama’s inauguration ceremony, Cheney was seen, for the first time ever, in a wheel chair, a sign immediately recognized by Star Wars fans across the country as an effort to change from somewhat evil political leader to completely evil Sith Lord. “This move comes straight out of the books,” said Star Wars enthusiast James Clark, “We

Blagojevich Sells NU Kicker’s Foot to Mizzou

January 2, 2009 Nick Zessis Leave a comment

SAN ANTONIO, TX—Northwestern’s loss to Missouri in the Alamo Bowl has brought about criticism of the team’s kicker. After failing to kick a field goal and extra point, Mizzou was able to bring the game to overtime. Northwestern failed to match Mizzou’s touchdown, which gave NU its sixth straight bowl loss. There are some, however, who are not willing to blame only the NU kicker. Several Illinois politicians have accused Governor Rod Blagojevich of influencing Northwestern’s loss. Illinois State Representative