Bernie is as optimistic as ever, saying he still has a reasonable chance at winning the nomination, though critics have raised concerns that his electoral math was calculated using Common Core methods.
“I saw a burlesque show at a Catholic fundraiser the other day, and it seemed like the perfect thing my daughter Ivanka could be in.”
“Kids these days are all on their phones doing the texting and tweeting I believe they call it,” Clinton told Flipside reporters.
While it is true that Governor Gilmore has not formally announced his candidacy for ASG President, his recent United States presidential campaign indicates he is open to leadership roles.
ASG Presidential candidate Mark Nox has announced that he would be suspending his campaign following the leak of an embarrassing Middle School recess video by an anonymous source.
“Black House, they love me! Hilel, they love me! Social Justice Warriors, they love me! Morty himself, he loves me!”
This completely ineffectual student government is proud to fight oppression whenever we can.
Carson was seen playing the slots, going to strip clubs, drinking heavily, and gambling away his entire campaign fund throughout his tryst in Las Vegas.
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie recently announced that he will be dropping his presidential campaign and picking up a sandwich.
The National Rifle Association decided this past Tuesday to file a formal lawsuit against Columbia University for their embrace of trigger warnings.