Hillary Leaves Burnt Offering on the Tomb of Reagan
It has often been noted that Hillary is “likeable enough,” but struggles to inspire people with the shameless optimism and charm of Reagan.
Category Archives: Politics
Off-Campus Parties, Islamic State Too Much for Tisdahl
Sources close to the out-going mayor see how hard Tisdahl works to ease the Town and Gown and Town and Hijab relations.
Obama to Clinton: “I’d Look Fly” in Supreme Court Robes
Over the past few months, Obama has dropped Clinton not-so-subtle hints that he would like to be considered as her Supreme Court nominee once Donald Trump’s campaign sufficiently implodes.
College Republicans Change Affiliation to College Independents
“We feel that being the College Republicans only worked to exclude other groups who hated Trump as much as we did,” said exec member and leading advocate for the name change Joe Przybyszewski (WCAS ’17).
Trump Drops Out Just to Fuck with Us
Surrounded by a haunted-looking Chris Christie, an ebullient Hillary Clinton, and several Miss Universe contestants, Trump began his speech by saying “Well, that was easy.”
Bernie Sanders Doing Electoral Math with Common Core
Bernie is as optimistic as ever, saying he still has a reasonable chance at winning the nomination, though critics have raised concerns that his electoral math was calculated using Common Core methods.
Trump: I’d See my Daughter in Burlesque
“I saw a burlesque show at a Catholic fundraiser the other day, and it seemed like the perfect thing my daughter Ivanka could be in.”
Hillary Clinton Sends Out Thousands of “Follow 4 Follow?” Tweets
“Kids these days are all on their phones doing the texting and tweeting I believe they call it,” Clinton told Flipside reporters.
Flipside Endorses Jim Gilmore for ASG President
While it is true that Governor Gilmore has not formally announced his candidacy for ASG President, his recent United States presidential campaign indicates he is open to leadership roles.
ASG Candidate’s Embarrassing Middle School Recess Footage Leaked
ASG Presidential candidate Mark Nox has announced that he would be suspending his campaign following the leak of an embarrassing Middle School recess video by an anonymous source.