Op-Ed: My President was White
To my knowledge, Morty is not black, or any other race other than white.
Category Archives: Politics
Trump Sees Widespread Protests, Resigns
“Trump has always been a very sensitive soul and he has always cared very deeply for the opinion of the American people.”
Women’s March to Conveniently End at Neiman Marcus
“Many of us have returns in our trunks and they’re having a great sale—20% off to accommodate the 20% less we get on our paychecks.”
“Pladimir Vutin” Appointed to Trump Cabinet
While congressional Democrats have cited Mr. Vutin’s connections to Russian politics as both risky and say that he “isn’t even trying anymore,” President-Elect Trump stands by his candidate.
Obama to Delay Trump’s Inauguration with Four-Year Farewell Address
The address will be supplemented by recurring segments on fashion trends, daily sports picks, and live reactions to Trump tweets.
Trump Nominates Penis for Secretary of Agriculture
The truly unpresidented move comes as a surprise for the country, though it is not unusual considering his string of cabinet nominations that seem to involve people whose beliefs represent the opposite of the jobs to which they were appointed.
Nate Silver Takes IHOP Server Opening
So far, IHOP executives are “excited to have him aboard” and describe him as doing a very good job.
Trump Generously Offers Clinton the Position of Secretary
The Trump transition team suggested that the job offer was Hillary’s biggest win since the popular vote.
Weed So Totally Legal, Dude
Mimsy, a fucking moron, agrees that weed lets people connect and try to get along.
Electoral College Hit with Title IX Violation
The Electoral College has been found to be in violation of several Title IX statutes regarding gender equality.