Some of you came to college to make your parents proud or get silly little degrees in things like “Science” or “Reading”. Not me. I came here to play “The Game”.
“You have no idea how much it costs my mommy to ship 3 gallons of milk a week. It takes a lot out of her.”
Northwestern’s newest club, Bring Back Pangea! has taken campus by storm.
Your grief overcomes you and you fall to your knees. It’s so Joever.
“It’s gotten so bad that I have mistaken multiple twinks for baddies”
Lost in the backrooms of Tech, student Aurora Borealis was found breaking down on floor 2, wing Z, hallway θ, inlet ♥, in closet ✴. After being carted to the nearest CAPS office, she admitted what was troubling her: her recent astronomy exam. Unfortunately, there were no zodiac sign questions in sight for this solemn Scorpio. Even after Professor Smutko had made it abundantly clear on day one that it would not be an astrology class, some people were too
“Zey have the most incroyable food here in Chicago,” said Camille, another bed bug found at an AMC.
When that no-longer-anonymous poll cycled around to questions on sexual orientation and gender identity, gay students faced a dilemma
Tarantino explained that since the dogs are “literally down to Earth”, he’ll be casting his human actors based on “feet and feet alone”.
Big plans, they come soon, coming soon. Plans, so big, very big, coming this way soon. Plans will come over everywhere soon. Coming, plans are, and there are big, for student, coming for student, in a big way, plans, plans, coming student bigging soon. Oh my gosh, it is going to come soon.