Bummer! Meet Cute Goes Wrong When Both People Are Ugly
“I expected HER to be attractive, so it would be fine that I wasn’t,” said Jones, adjusting his fedora and twirling his handlebar mustache.
Category Archives: Articles
White House Reports Biden Has Been Stuck on Level 3 of Candy Crush Since Inauguration
“It’s sad to see Joe struggle so much,” his wife Dr. Jill commented during the press release. “I don’t know how to tell him he needs to use his magic lollipop booster.”
Godzilla vs. Kong “Enemies to Lovers Slowburn Mpreg Smut Vore AO3” Fanfiction Revealed As Inspiration for Next Monsterverse Film
This wasn’t just to queerbait — we’ve got a lot in store for fans of Kongzilla.
Housing Finds 700 Students Partying in Bobb. Later Realizes Many “Students” Were Just Large Rats From The Basement’s Super Colony
While others are on the fence, some residents of Bobb are welcoming the new faces. “The rats are actually all great!” said one resident wearing a suspiciously tall chef’s hat. “Help me…please…” she pleaded, smiling
Burnt-Out Senior Joins 200-Level Poetry Class Butt Naked with Poem About the Futility of Higher Education
“Not even a sweatband with his frat’s logo on it to keep his quarantine haircut out of his eyes!”
In Devastating “Boy Who Cried Wolf” Scenario, Elder Residents Perish in Dorm Fire
“Turns out the twenty-third time’s the charm.”
Ask Flippy: How Do I Tell People I’m a King Julian Sun, Maurice Moon, and Mort Rising?
But I’ve already done my birth chart, Flippy, and it’s bad! King Julian sun, Maurice moon, and Mort rising? How am I supposed to get any pussy with a Mort rising?
“They Cut Me Out, And Now It’s Time To Pay,” Cackles A Third Johnson In New Blackmail Video
“Because of my unbeatable toe fungus, I was the one voted out of the company.”
Morty Sends Mass Text: “Pull up 4 vaccine, $5 for dudes, ladies free all night”
“I got a vaccine plug from a buddy of mine in Kappa Delta Moderna, and I was just looking to get lit, get wild, and vaccinate some shawties,”
Johnson & Johnson Releases Brand New “No More Clots” Shampoo
This new line of shampoo claims to offer the same gentle cleaning and exfoliating properties of regular shampoo, without any of the life-threatening circulatory issues.