Archaeology Club Hits Rock Bottom
āWe knew heād dig himself into a hole sooner or later.”
Category Archives: Articles
Op-Ed: I Canāt be the Impostor, I was Filling Out my Daily Symptoms on the Northwestern Symptom Tracker App
Taking advantage of the popularity of Among Us, Northwestern has decided to create a similar game to encourage students to complete tasks that they usually avoid, such as signing up for the NCA career fair.
Local Man Poses as Cardboard Cutout for Three Months to Infiltrate World Series
āThe trick is to sit real still and not breathe too much,ā describes Bregman, who claims he wanted to get the authentic ballpark experience without the hassle of paying for tickets or obeying pesky federal guidelines. āI got used to not breathing when I pretended to be dead so my kids could claim life insurance,” he said.
Self-Conscious Freshman Isn’t Prepared to Learn That He is the Shortest in PA Group
Bentley’s āinclusiveā friends will not be so accepting when they see more than just his Pink Floyd t-shirt and mandala tapestry.
Elderly Trump Supporters Find New Love on Boomr
āI just really needed him to find someone fast so we could talk about baseball again, and I needed to weed out any liberal grandmas or āsnowflakesā,ā
Planned Parenthood Begins Handing Out Copies of League of Legends in Lieu of Condoms
League of Legends functions differently than many contraceptives such as condoms or Plan B. Rather than stop pregnancy, she says, it simply eliminates any chance of sexual (or human) contact at all.
Jewish Students Start Day Long Hunger Strike To Protest Classes On Yom Kippur
With what Rosenstein described as ālike, zeroā participation from students in Econ, pre-Law, and pre-Med, classes will become even more painful over Zoom than imaginable.
Professor Fights Urge to Meddle in Studentās Love Life After Reading Private Chat Transcripts
Hornberger has had to restrain himself from placing the two students together in breakout rooms on several occasions. He also gave them knowing glances during his lecture on college hookup culture.
University IT Admin Considering Barring Students, Parents, Faculty, Staff, and Themselves From Access to CAESAR, Citing Security Risks
The functionality of the website will remain exactly the same, which the anonymous informant said is actually the most formidable layer of security.
New York Jets Dominate Next 4 Games After Realizing They Were Holding Playbook Upside-Down
The New York Jets of the National Football League are gaining increasing media attention following their sudden four game winning streak against some of the toughest teams in the league, which came after they figured out the playbook needed to be flipped around. Following rumors that NY Jetās head coach Adam Gase would be removed in the event of another team loss, the ever-scheming playcaller knew he had to whip up something special before taking on the 2-2 Arizona Cardinals.