Circle Circle Dot Dot Cooties Vaccine Enters Testing Phase
Playground researchers have managed to develop an experimental vaccine using top notch Crayola Magic Marker technology, reducing the risk of cooties transmission by up to 30%.
Category Archives: Articles
Woah! Therapist Shares Tidbit of Personal Information
Before, she was just my therapist. But now that she’s, like, a real person with actual thoughts and opinions, it makes me anxious.
Classics Curriculum Of English Class Updated To Include All Wattpad Fanfics Opted For Film
In the wake of Wattpad fanfictions like The Kissing Booth and After becoming blockbuster teen movie franchises, one English teacher is leading the charge to get these works of literature where they belong: on the “Classics” section of her syllabus. Keri Schroeder, an Evanston-area high school teacher, first heard of Wattpad in 2019 when some drama students in her classroom “wouldn’t shut up” about how hot the Harry Styles fanfic they were reading was. “At first I was beleaguered, bemoaned, distraught, and in a
20 Years After Recess Tag Ending, Local Woman Remains “It”
“I can’t go out in public anymore. People scatter away from me like I’m a shark in a school of minnows, or as if I passed gas on the rush hour train.”
Confused Freshman Discovers That “I Live Right Outside NYC” Could Literally Mean Five Different States
Every year, East Coast residents capitalize on their supposed proximity to New York City, that concrete jungle where dreams come to life, to invoke awe in their geography-challenged classmates from the Midwest.
Class of 2024 to Receive Zoom Virtual Background in Place of Six Flags Trip
The traditional grand finale of Wildcat Welcome, an all-expenses paid trip to Six Flags, was made impossible this year due to the Coronavirus pandemic, leaving the Class of 2024 without the formative first-year experience that many upperclassmen hold dear. But when all else seemed lost, Northwestern released some uplifting news as to how they would make it up to the Class of 2024. According to an email sent by President Morton Schapiro, the Northwestern Administration is bringing Six Flags to
Popular Twitter Comedian Way Too Excited to Post Face Reveal
After gaining his 90,000th follower, funniest_memes_central tweeted out, “Thanks everybody! 10,000 more follows and I’ll do a face reveal!”
Ask Flippy: Is My Boyfriend Cheating On Me, Or Are All Those Texts Just From Kamala Harris?
I mean, if any woman besides me were to be texting my boyfriend, I would want it to be Kamala Harris. I just don’t know what to believe.
“Socially Liberal But Fiscally Conservative” Econ Bro Supports Women, Calls Female Professor A Bitch
She wasn’t even that hot.
White NU Students Excited to Abolish Greek Life and Oversee the Construction of Near-Identical Social Groups
Well known for their prompt correction of social issues, fraternities and sororities immediately responded to the situation once they reached the adequate threshold of personal shame.