Kanye Releases Donda 3 exclusively on Tooth-tunes
stated Ye in an Instagram caption. “I’VE PARTNERED WITH THE PEOPLE OVER AT TOOTHTUNES FOR AN EXCLUSIVE DONDA 3 LISTENING EXPERIENCE ONLY TO BE ENJOYED FOR 2 MINUTES TWICE A DAY.”
Category Archives: Articles
DJ Moondog Sued By Estate of Famed Canine Cosmonaut Laika
“As it stands, Moondog’s face is a disgrace to the entire space race.”
VeggieTales Officially Incorporated into Biblical Canon
Diehard supporters of the Eucharist reject the pious produce, claiming that the only food group that can be connected to God is flaccid bread.
From the Distant Archives: Landmark Moments in Scientific History (Vol. II, Edition 3):can i eat tihs cactis
Use old, ancient wisdum [sic] of 20 suncycle [sic] on mothr [sic] Urth [sic] and smarts for smart thing, ask queschun [sic]: “can i (Borbra Smartbrain Elder Sciencer) eat tihs cactis?” [sic]
Op-ed: Regular Social Media Doesn’t Fuel My Superiority Complex Anymore, So You Can Now Only Find Me on Goodreads and Letterboxd
It’s important to me that when people stalk me on the internet they think “Wow, I bet she really understands the importance of symbolism,” and “Do you think she actually followed what was going on in ‘Inception,’ because it kind of seems like it?”
From the Archives: Imhotep Chalamet Looked Sooooo Toned at the CowMonkeyTurtleDragonfly Awards
“The scarab-beetle black of the tunic really made his pale, malnourished face pop.”
Will Smith Announces It Was ACTUALLY the Gemini Man Who Slapped Chris Rock
“That Gemini Man’s been after my skin ever since we finished filming, but I never would have thought he’d hit Chris Rock while I was practicing my acceptance speech in the bathroom mirror,” Smith said.
Gunna Announces Kidney Stone Diagnosis, to Take Hiatus from Pushing Pee
“I can’t do this pushin’ P shit anymore, man,” the “Lemonade” rapper lamented through tears via Instagram Live earlier this morning. “All I can get out is blood and little rocks, and the whole time it burns like hell – this ain’t P, dude. Like, literally. Look at this. Does that look like P to you?.”
Study Abroad Office Now Offering Summer Trip to Your Mom’s House
Your mom’s house is proving to be an incredibly popular destination with many Northwestern students.
Two Roads Diverged in A Yellow Wood and My Wife Left Me: Poems By Willie Loman
A new TikTok trend has gained popularity with men over forty and anyone suffering under late-stage capitalism. The #poemsbywillieloman trend went viral after account posted a series of videos of him speeding home while violently shaking his head to the beat of Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO, with this poem written in the caption: