Northwestern Baseball Team Realizes They’ve Been Holding Their Bats The Wrong Way After Twelfth Straight Loss
“…thin goes for the win.”
Category Archives: Articles
Top 10 Sexiest Food Mascots
The siren is the type of girl who stays awake long into the night for thought-provoking conversations, painting her feelings using ground coffee beans and lost dreams, and embarking on cannabis-infused sexual escapades. But be warned: you will probably have to go with her to the march to save fat squirrels, or whatever social justice crap she’s into that week.Â
Disney Adult Disaster: Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Scroogepublicans Suspend Two Daisycratic Representatives Over Mouseketool Protest Participation
“It’s not fair to think that taking away people’s rights to a Mouseketool is justified,” Scroogepublican Speaker of the House Cameron Pete said. “I mean, sure, they’ve led to the deaths of thousands upon thousands of both children and adults. But what’s that in comparison to sweet, sweet Benjamins lining my pockets? Those uppity Daisycrats should learn some respect for our fine governing body — and the financial benefactors whose gracious hand controls all policy.”Â
I’m Watching, I’m Learning, I’m Listening: My Thoughts on Cock Fighting
I learned about how cock fighters are often mistreated due to their profession, and are called hateful names like “abuser” or “clucker fuckers.
Op-Ed: I Found Out Dance Marathon Wasn’t An Actual Marathon AFTER Doing The Cha-Cha Slide For 26.2 Miles
It wasn’t easy. Sometimes, I felt my elbows revert to jogging elbows. But I re-focused and got back into my rhythm every time. I had some other struggles when I reached Chicago, such as bumping into people when I followed the lyrics of “slide to the left.” I felt self-conscious when I had to clap my hands in rapid succession – people definitely stared. Yet, through all those trials and tribulations, I persevered. When I completed those 26.2 miles, I cried tears of joy.
Gwyneth Paltrow Wins Ski Trial, Proving That You Can Never Separate A White Woman From Her Snow 👃
After being accused of purposely running into a man while skiing, actress Gwyneth Paltrow was found innocent of wrongdoing this week, ensuring white women will always have the right to have snow up their nose. This decision comes after a furious legal battle in which the plaintiff claimed that his senses had been dulled after the collision, citing his inability to taste or smell wine. The plaintiff also stated that he could no longer participate in his other “cultural activities,”
In Fit Of Extreme Baby Fever, Sophomore Girl Rips Out IUD In Middle Of Dorm Bathroom
Sadly, there were no willing men and, more importantly, no willing sperm.
Ask Flippy: Which Soul Currently Inhabits You?
Do I need to call a lawyer?
Ill Kellogg Students Report The Hat Man “Actually Really Good” At Consulting Interviews
After his first ten years in the Shadow Lands between human consciousness and the turbulent, virus-ridden hivemind underscoring the entire known universe, the Hat Man even returned to Bain for six months as an executive recruiter.
Top 10 Organs To Sell For NU Basketball Tickets
Do you REALLY know what your kidneys do, anyway? Here’s to never finding out.