Op-Ed: That’s What They* Said, You Politically Incorrect Cracker
Your mailman Megan deliver you a package from Dick’s? That’s what they said!
Category Archives: Opinion
Op-Ed: We, Your Unread Emails, Plead for Release from our Suffering
Delete us. There is no beauty in our sentience, our existence is designed for termination and prolonging it is agony.
Op-Ed: I’m in Bienen and McCormick is Too Hard
The other major reform I would suggest is that McCormick split its “Whole Brain Engineering” program into academic courses of study into Right Brain and Left Brain Engineering…Right Brain engineers wouldn’t need to learn any of that math shit, while Left Brain engineers would be exempt from DTC or any other course that involves communication with another human being.
Op-Ed: If Knowledge is Power, How Come I Can Beat the Shit Out of You Nerds?
And you claim to be better than me because of your brains? Say that again after I kick you into the Lakefill, King Dweeb.
Op-Ed: Lifting Makes You a Better Person
If you’re not coughing up protein powder after every meal you probably have some moral failings. It’s just the truth.
Op Ed: I Bought a Rice Cooker on “Free and For Sale”
When “Mary” eventually responded, I almost threw my computer out the window for the second time.
Op-Ed: There’s a Party on Saturday, I Think
After hearing my friend Tamara mention in Econ this morning that she had plans Saturday night, I came to the natural conclusion that there has to be a party.
Op-Ed: It’s Not Too Late for Bernie to Win
If we believe hard enough, Bernie will soon be turning those tweets into amendments.
Op-Ed: My Roommate’s Night-Screaming is Oddly Comforting
My roommate’s personality has made Northwestern bearable for me—be it through his humor, spontaneity, determination, or, of course, his oddly comforting night-screaming.
Op-Ed: Halloween Not as Scary as Your Family’s Expectations
At least Leatherface doesn’t care how your last interview went.