Op-ed: How Dare She Date Someone More Kind, Intelligent, and Attractive Than Me?
Really Samantha? You chose to stoop that high? Have some decency… but not enough decency to do that.
Category Archives: Opinion
Op-Ed: Cheetos in milk are the best winter vegetable. Let me convince you.
They’re orange, powdery and drenched in milk. Seemingly unassuming, they manage to divide the masses like none other. It’s rare that such a small thing can cause such polarization, but they do so with aplomb. Yes, I am talking about cheetos in milk. And yes, I think they’re the best winter vegetable out there (and I know many of you will disagree). Cheetos in milk get a lot of flak, and I have to admit that I was also once
Op-Ed: My Roommate’s Hundreds of Bees Shouldn’t Count as Emotional Support Animals
“He claims the buzzing soothes him, but the constant droning has barred me from sleep since this quarter started.”
Op-Ed: JB Pritzker Shouldn’t Be Allowed to Advertise in My Dreams
“I understand that this is the nature of election season in these increasingly digital times, there are also lines that should not under any circumstances be crossed.”
Op-ed: Stop Looking at the Climate While it’s Changing, You Perverts!
Here’s the bottom line: if the climate is changing, you look away! Stop measuring the weather and making your graphs, and shut your eyes, for Christ’s sake!
Op-Ed: Mowing Your Parents’ Lawn Will Build More Character Than an Internship
Are you aware of how hot the tech and engineering industry is these days? I’m going to be working with an ancient, gasoline-guzzling, rusty push mower that my parents have refused to replace since the early 2000s.
Report: Tech Dangerously Underpopulated by Bees
“People should be very afraid. I haven’t seen a single bee in Tech at all the past few months. No bees in Tech means no honey in Tech. No honey in Tech is a catastrophe!”
Op-Ed: There are Only 25 Days of Christmas and None of Them are in November
If you’ve already started playing your favorite holiday playlist on Spotify you need to back the fuck up.
Op-Ed: I Like the Cold But I Wouldn’t Let My Daughter Date It
I’m not paranoid calling a shoveling service when I see snow piling up in my driveway I just don’t think it belongs in my community.
Op-Ed: I Feel Uncomfortable Parking My Harley Outside of Kresge
why is it then that I feel vilified for rip-roaring my sweet steel power-mobile down from Tech to Kresge?