Op-Ed: I’m Finally A ComEd Customer and Now They’re Gone
In all honesty, I don’t know what ComEd is. I think it’s something to do with carpentry.
Category Archives: Opinion
Op-Ed: I thought Getting Laid would Solve all my Problems, and it did.
I was lazy, listless, and broken inside, but ever since our night (or really evening) of passion, my life has totally turned around. I got into not one, but two improv groups on campus.
Op-Ed: No, Josh, I don’t have less friends because I’m a grammar geek…I have fewer friends
Josh, being a grammar geek doesn’t mean I have less friends. It means I have fewer friends.
Op-Ed: What I Learned by Eating at Arby’s Every Day of Summer Until They Offered Me a Job
Before you go off and apply to internships and jobs for next summer, take a look at what I’ve learned these past few months.
Op-Ed: I’m Not Like Most Girls, My Mom Had a C-Section
Since I didn’t see my mom’s vaginal canal, I do see the world in a different perspective, and I think that’s why I’m so unique.
Op-Ed: I Won’t Watch Captain Marvel Unless She’s Smiling The Whole Time
Sure, she’s a brainwashed, amnesiac alien soldier fighting an intergalactic war, but would it kill her to smile once in a while? The liberals are really pushing their feminist agenda here and it’s making me sick.
Op-Ed: No One has Used the Garage to Make an Iron Man Suit Yet and That’s Why We’re Only #10
They’ve only managed to make coffee related businesses, because college students were having problems getting coffee somehow.
Op-ed: How Dare She Date Someone More Kind, Intelligent, and Attractive Than Me?
Really Samantha? You chose to stoop that high? Have some decency… but not enough decency to do that.
Op-Ed: Cheetos in milk are the best winter vegetable. Let me convince you.
They’re orange, powdery and drenched in milk. Seemingly unassuming, they manage to divide the masses like none other. It’s rare that such a small thing can cause such polarization, but they do so with aplomb. Yes, I am talking about cheetos in milk. And yes, I think they’re the best winter vegetable out there (and I know many of you will disagree). Cheetos in milk get a lot of flak, and I have to admit that I was also once
Op-Ed: My Roommate’s Hundreds of Bees Shouldn’t Count as Emotional Support Animals
“He claims the buzzing soothes him, but the constant droning has barred me from sleep since this quarter started.”