Category Archives: Opinion

[NU Spork] Thoughts From That Guy Eating in Spanish Class

OMG, why did I take Astro and Spanish back to back? Screw it, I’m eating chips. When do I bring them out? Do I wait for group work or is lecture ok? Why does this class have to have 12 people, they’re staring into my soul. Are they judging me for being the “food kid”? Whatever, time to open them. Crap, why are these so crinkly? Is it better to just rip the bag in one fell swoop or open

[NU Spork] Five Helpful Tips for Dorm-Brewing

Got your fake ID stolen? Can’t get your upperclassmen friends to score a handle of Skol for you? Not a fan of the mouthwash taste? You won’t have to deal with these bummers if you make your own fun juice! Making your own booze in your tiny room at Plex can sound like a daunting challenge but it’s also very rewarding. Just follow these simple suggestions and you’ll be on your way to tipsyville by the end of the school

The Flipside’s Best Ways to Accomodate Puerto Rican Star on the U.S. Flag

SAN JUAN, PUERTO RICO — Puerto Rico’s majority vote for statehood this past Tuesday raised perhaps the most unsettling question of the entire campaign season. For more than fifty years, the U.S. flag has represented an achievement in both symbolism and geometry, and in that light, a 51st star could be as controversial as Obamacare. We propose here the most viable solutions to this potential configurational cataclysm: 1. Combine the Dakotas, population now about the same as New Hampshire. 2.

Area Squirrel Won’t Shut Up Outside My Window

NEW YORK EVANSTON — As area Flipside reporter Brian Earl was sitting down to write an article about the impact Hurricane Sandy had on the New York subway system, he was rudely interrupted by a squirrel screeching outside his window. “Hurricane Sandy Ironically Clears Subway Tunnels of Sand,” typed Earl, chuckling to his handsome self, prepared to regale the world with his brilliance. All of a sudden — and mid-word, no less — a squirrel went “MRAAP MRAAP MRAAP!” “How

History Teacher a Real Dickwad for Scheduling Test the Monday after Halloween Weekend

By Harry Barbash, Sophomore Economics Major What the fuck, Professor Donaghy? Do you have any idea what happened this last weekend? You think there was time to study for a midterm about the Celts in the 11th century? Because there sure as shit was not. Let’s start with the obvious. Halloween is the peak time for drunken revelry. Halloween just sweetens the crowded-apartment-party pot. Hookups become even more anonymous as you grind up on whatever masked person’s behind you. Alcohol

A Farewell Message from the NU Flipside Founder

Dear humble Flipside reader, The Stanford Flipside beat me to this, but I guess there’s a precedent now. Like most new student groups at Northwestern, our first task was pivotal: gaining recognition from the omnipotent governing body known as ASG. By the way, ASG actually stands for “A Status Groupsgetallthefunding,” but that’s a story for another farewell message, a much more cynical and ill-tempered farewell message. Yes, that is the best fake acronym I could come up with. I was

[His Campus] An Exploration South of Tech

We engineers never have any need to go to south campus, but in case you accidentally find yourself there, here are some descriptions to help you get a lay of the land and get back north as fast as possible. Kresge – The Tech of south campus. When south campus people say that they get lost in Tech, pretend they said Kresge and you will understand their pain. Main Library – An inferior version of Tech Library. From an architectural

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