UGH. I just can’t believe we’re back already. It’s not even that I don’t want to do school work again, I mean I’m really excited to get to the nitty-gritty in “Gender Studies 205: Why it’s so Hard to be a Woman” and “History 307: A History of Every Repressed Culture in History.” It’s just that Northwestern is like SO, heteronormative.
By Tommy Schapiro Foster-Walker Complex–East Side: ★ ★ ★ ★ Hi guys! My name is Tommy and I’m so excited to be your Special Middle School Dining Hall Reviewer. A special thanks to The Flipside for doing my homework for me and for the free lunch. I told my Uncle Morty that you guys definitely deserve more money. Anyways, I guess I should start talking about the restaraunt now? Wow, that’s a hard word to spell. Restorant? Restaurant? Got it.
This medley of common foods found in dorm rooms is the perfect remedy to your munchies if you’re too high to make the trek to Cheesie’s or remember that Jimmy John’s delivers. I guarantee that this recipe will get you the maximum enjoyment out of getting baked without actually baking.
As much as we all love our delicious Sodexo food served in clean, hygienic Sodexo dining halls, there’s just no substitute for a meal cooked with your own two hands. Unfortunately, because the university doesn’t trust you to not kill yourself with microwaves or hot plates, we here at NU Spork have put together a handy guide to help you prepare food in your dorm room without the pesky constraints of heat sources or proper nutrition. Let’s start with drinks.
OMG, why did I take Astro and Spanish back to back? Screw it, I’m eating chips. When do I bring them out? Do I wait for group work or is lecture ok? Why does this class have to have 12 people, they’re staring into my soul. Are they judging me for being the “food kid”? Whatever, time to open them. Crap, why are these so crinkly? Is it better to just rip the bag in one fell swoop or open
Got your fake ID stolen? Can’t get your upperclassmen friends to score a handle of Skol for you? Not a fan of the mouthwash taste? You won’t have to deal with these bummers if you make your own fun juice! Making your own booze in your tiny room at Plex can sound like a daunting challenge but it’s also very rewarding. Just follow these simple suggestions and you’ll be on your way to tipsyville by the end of the school
SAN JUAN, PUERTO RICO — Puerto Rico’s majority vote for statehood this past Tuesday raised perhaps the most unsettling question of the entire campaign season. For more than fifty years, the U.S. flag has represented an achievement in both symbolism and geometry, and in that light, a 51st star could be as controversial as Obamacare. We propose here the most viable solutions to this potential configurational cataclysm: 1. Combine the Dakotas, population now about the same as New Hampshire. 2.
NEW YORK EVANSTON — As area Flipside reporter Brian Earl was sitting down to write an article about the impact Hurricane Sandy had on the New York subway system, he was rudely interrupted by a squirrel screeching outside his window. “Hurricane Sandy Ironically Clears Subway Tunnels of Sand,” typed Earl, chuckling to his handsome self, prepared to regale the world with his brilliance. All of a sudden — and mid-word, no less — a squirrel went “MRAAP MRAAP MRAAP!” “How
Not only could I have done a better job checking Paul Ryan’s math by stamping my left hoof, but I probably could have conveyed a better understanding of the American tax-bracket breakdown based on my observations of barnyard social structure.
After considering all probable consequences on ourselves, on the United States, on the whole world, and most importantly, on The Northwestern Flipside, we are proud to endorse Governor Mitt Romney and Vice President Joe Biden for president and vice president in the 2012 election.