Opinion | Northwestern Flipside

Category Archives: Opinion

The Flipside Would Like to Apologize

March 7, 2013 Andrew Schneider Leave a comment

For the first time in its storied existence, The Onion has issued an apology for its content. Many were outraged when “America’s Finest News Source” targeted 9-year-old Best Actress nominee Quvenzhané Wallis with a tasteless expletive, forcing Onion, Inc. CEO Steve Hannah to post a contrite note of regret on his site’s front page. After thorough discussion amongst The Flipside’s executive board and preferred astrologists, we have come to the decision that it is in our best interests for The

The State of the Associated Student Government Senate

February 24, 2013 Brian Lee Leave a comment

Esteemed senators, desperate wannabes. Three years ago, I attended a senate meeting. I don’t remember what the meeting was about, and I doubt anyone still remembers it. All I remember is that a lengthy argument broke out over whether a non-senator in attendance in place of an absent senator could vote in a procedural vote based on Robert’s Rules of Order.

Things We Are Giving Up for Lent

February 19, 2013 Alex Finkelstein Leave a comment

Now that Mardi Gras is over, it’s time for us to get serious and make sacrifices that will improve our spiritual well-being. With that in mind, here are some things we are giving up for Lent.

A Valentine’s Day Poem

February 14, 2013 Sam Block Leave a comment

“I fucking hate Valentine’s Day,” Said junior Peggy Ann McKay. “I have six midterms tomorrow, For DM, I must donate my marrow. My roommate is such a great bore, Dating that bro two years or more. It’s much more fun to be a whore, That’s what living in Bobb is for! They hold hands watching Netflix, They think iPhones are for self-pics. He bought her Franzia with his friend’s fake – I don’t know how much more I can take.

[Nostalgia Issue] A Retrospective from Your Forgotten Tamagotchi

February 14, 2013 Rachel Beal Leave a comment

THE BOX IN THE BACK CORNER UNDER YOUR BED — Salutations, my dear human. It’s been years since last we met, yet it was you who gave me life, so long ago, on the electronics aisle of Toys-R-Us. It was you whose jelly-covered fingers freed me from the confines of my tamago (that’s the Japanese word for egg, if you ever wondered) with just the press of an irritatingly small button. Nearly three lustra have elapsed since last you fed

[Nostalgia Issue] Chet Haze Remembers When He Used to Hold All The Girls’ Hands

February 12, 2013 Sam Block One comment

I was so torn at recess, yo. There were always some pretty fine honeys with Malibu-Rum-smooth hands, gathered around the hopscotch court, but me, I was the gangSTAR-ass player of the kickball team.

Back from Break, Thoughts that my Angry Feminist Roommate Didn’t (Did) Share

January 17, 2013 Rachel Beal Leave a comment

UGH. I just can’t believe we’re back already. It’s not even that I don’t want to do school work again, I mean I’m really excited to get to the nitty-gritty in “Gender Studies 205: Why it’s so Hard to be a Woman” and “History 307: A History of Every Repressed Culture in History.” It’s just that Northwestern is like SO, heteronormative.

[NU Spork] Restaurant Review: Foster-Walker Complex’s East Dining Hall

December 9, 2012 Brian Earl Leave a comment

By Tommy Schapiro Foster-Walker Complex–East Side: ★ ★ ★ ★ Hi guys! My name is Tommy and I’m so excited to be your Special Middle School Dining Hall Reviewer. A special thanks to The Flipside for doing my homework for me and for the free lunch. I told my Uncle Morty that you guys definitely deserve more money. Anyways, I guess I should start talking about the restaraunt now? Wow, that’s a hard word to spell. Restorant? Restaurant? Got it.

[NU Spork] The Stoner Soufflé: A Delicious Munchies Medley

December 8, 2012 Dean Meisel Leave a comment

This medley of common foods found in dorm rooms is the perfect remedy to your munchies if you’re too high to make the trek to Cheesie’s or remember that Jimmy John’s delivers. I guarantee that this recipe will get you the maximum enjoyment out of getting baked without actually baking.

[NU Spork] The Spork Guide to Dorm Room Cooking

December 7, 2012 Andrew Schneider Leave a comment

As much as we all love our delicious Sodexo food served in clean, hygienic Sodexo dining halls, there’s just no substitute for a meal cooked with your own two hands. Unfortunately, because the university doesn’t trust you to not kill yourself with microwaves or hot plates, we here at NU Spork have put together a handy guide to help you prepare food in your dorm room without the pesky constraints of heat sources or proper nutrition. Let’s start with drinks.