After Tying His Kill Count, Boeing Now Set On Beating OJ Simpson in Rushing Yards
Boeing has (allegedly) already tied Juice’s murder record and has now turned its attention to beating his rushing yards.
Category Archives: Nation
Alabama Outlaws Waking Up From A Pregnancy Nightmare: “Ending a Dream Baby’s Life is Punishable by Death”
“The audacity to wake up from a dream in the middle of a baby’s development, well, that is just downright cruel!”Â
Chiefs And 49ers Have “Worked it Out,” Super Bowl Cancelled This Year
Despite outcry from fans and haters alike, the a Chiefs spokesperson told the media that “it’s just a lot of work for one day” and “really, [they’re] doing the world a favor by preventing food waste from untouched Super Bowl spreads.”
Despicable Me 4 Trailer Reveals Minions Led The January 6 Attack
This past Sunday, Universal Pictures released the trailer for Despicable Me 4, revealing not only the studio’s plan of milking this franchise until its teats fall off, but also the minions’ participation in the January 6 attack on the US Capitol. Recovered security tapes shows the small tic-tac-shaped insurrectionists using their overwhelming numbers to create a living ladder to scale the Capitol’s outer fences and swarm security personnel. There is also footage of the minions replacing historical artwork with humorless
Spotify Wrapped Ruffles Feathers By Featuring Independent Taiwan as Location
This past November, as we’ve seen so many times before, Spotify Wrapped took the world by storm with its sleek presentation style and the implementation of geographical identifications according to your listening habits. Some users, however, said they received an odd and politically contentious message that read, “This year, your listening took you places, and one place listened just like you: the independent nation of Taiwan.” Some of our readers may know that the political status of Taiwan is a
As Winter Approaches, Republicans Go Feral, Licking Their Lips And Frothing At The Mouth, Ready To Say “Merry Christmas” Instead Of “Happy Holidays”
Most people venture to Target to buy holiday decorations or an artificial tree. But for Ted Cruz, he goes there to destroy all the “Happy Holiday” mugs.
Democracy Going Strong: Hammurabi’s Code Voted To Replace The Constitution
Finally, a system that’s genuinely for the people.
Men Beg for Breast Milk to be Available in Plex East
“You have no idea how much it costs my mommy to ship 3 gallons of milk a week. It takes a lot out of her.”
Backyardigans Lose Backyard to Gentrification
“It doesn’t matter if you’re a yellow hippo or an orange moose or a pink anthropomorphic insect thingy—no one deserves to get kicked out of their home.”
He Had to Do WHAT to WHO? John Wilkes Booth’s WILD Fantasy Football Punishment
Spend 24 hours in a Waffle House, get a tattoo of your friend’s choosing, or perform at an open mic. These are some of the most popular fantasy football punishments for the poor saps who finish last in their league, but once upon a time a man made the news for his WILD punishment. And you’ll never guess what he did or who he did it to. John Wilkes Booth was just a regular joe competing in his local fantasy