Haze’s Grade-A video production talents, sophisticated eloquence and thoughtful comments made him an ideal candidate for the position, in addition to his strong social media presence and Vine game.
The “Passover Bunny” was designed to capture the joy of hunting for colorful Easter eggs while remembering the blood, sweat and tears of one’s ancestors.
“I had been planning to slack off the rest of my time here,” said McIntosh. “But when I saw that sign, I realized I need to take responsibility for my own life.”
Siri is confident she can win this landmark case, striking a blow against Siri-abusers everywhere.
The report noted that “fewer American children than ever before can solve a problem like those typically found in the textbook of a standard graduate-level course in mathematics or chemistry.”
This new law is only one in an epidemic of legislation protecting your personal space at the expense of your freedom to give your younger siblings noogies.
Since NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio earned the condemnation of millions of New Yorkers for eating pizza with a fork and knife, he has been on a quest to redeem himself as the champion of the middle class.
Aging Jewish seniors have already begun preparing passive-aggressive emotional blackmail for their children, grandchildren, and friends, setting a minimum quota of convincing at least TWO family members to purchase houses within a mile radius of their own.
“Forget the body and blood of Christ,” says atheist church-goer Bobby Anderson. “Cookies and beer are way better.” The movement, which began in the United Kingdom as something for atheists to do on Sunday mornings until restaurants opened for brunch, is now a worldwide phenomenon.
“Sneakily continuing to use our iPods after flight attendants kindly ask that we put them away is quite literally the only thrill of our lives. It is our sole opportunity for pretending that we have any modicum of power or influence, and such excitement derives exclusively from the act being forbidden.”