Category Archives: Nation

I Came From The Streets: A Study Of Asphalt Fetishes

All across the world, it’s not that unusual for some people to have strange fetishes. Feet, hybristophilia, lactophilia, even coprophilia. Of course, whatever gets your socks off and gets you turned on really isn’t anybody else’s business. However, recently a phenomenon has been sweeping cities across America: asphalt fetishes. “I Came From The Streets” — a breakdown of tarphelia. Signs of the modern fetish first began appearing in America in the 1930s when many roads began to be paved as

Trump to Take Over Greek Life and Rename It American Life

In a shocking new political move in reaction to the rush craze sweeping college campusesnationwide, Trump recently announced he would be renaming Greek life “American life.” In anexclusive interview with Trump, our Flipside reporter, dives deep into this new development. Flipside: So in our current political climate, with increased climate catastrophes and heightenedgeopolitical conflicts, what led you to focus on recoining Greek life “American life?” Trump: Well, we have to remember to be loyal to America and not the illegal

Trump Appoints Young Sheldon as Head of Homeland Security

Since November 5th, the president-elect has made several controversial picks for top positions, including Elon Musk heading the so-called “Department of Government Efficiency” (DOGE). However, even many in Trump’s inner circle have objected to his latest and boldest choice: a literal fourteen-year-old child as Secretary of Homeland Security. Sheldon Lee Cooper, of Medford, Texas, turned down a Ph.D. in physics at Caltech to join the incoming administration, saying that “the decision was a no-brainer after Meemaw took me to visit

Trump Creates New “BOOM Department” For Bombing His Enemies, Appoints AJ & Big Justice As Secretaries

While some may have missed the announcement in between Trump’s creation of an “Efficiency Commission” and appointment of a sex criminal to lead the government’s law enforcement agency, the president-elect notably created a “BOOM Department” for bombing his enemies and named AJ & Big Justice as its foremen. Trump originally met AJ & Big Justice while he was working the McDonald’s drive thru. The father-son pair ordered everything on the menu for one of their viral videos and proceeded to

« Older Entries