“The statue outside Patten Gym is hot,” says area woman whose vibrator has earned a first and last name
Let it be known that The Flipside is vocally For-Fapping.
Category Archives: Local
University Wonders Why Students Didn’t Check Emergency Alert Posted To YikYak Immediately After Shooting
In a press conference, President Michael Schill expressed surprise at the criticism.
Northwestern Baseball Team Realizes They’ve Been Holding Their Bats The Wrong Way After Twelfth Straight Loss
“…thin goes for the win.”
Op-Ed: I Found Out Dance Marathon Wasn’t An Actual Marathon AFTER Doing The Cha-Cha Slide For 26.2 Miles
It wasn’t easy. Sometimes, I felt my elbows revert to jogging elbows. But I re-focused and got back into my rhythm every time. I had some other struggles when I reached Chicago, such as bumping into people when I followed the lyrics of “slide to the left.” I felt self-conscious when I had to clap my hands in rapid succession – people definitely stared. Yet, through all those trials and tribulations, I persevered. When I completed those 26.2 miles, I cried tears of joy.
In Fit Of Extreme Baby Fever, Sophomore Girl Rips Out IUD In Middle Of Dorm Bathroom
Sadly, there were no willing men and, more importantly, no willing sperm.
Ill Kellogg Students Report The Hat Man “Actually Really Good” At Consulting Interviews
After his first ten years in the Shadow Lands between human consciousness and the turbulent, virus-ridden hivemind underscoring the entire known universe, the Hat Man even returned to Bain for six months as an executive recruiter.
RETROSPECTIVE: The Brutal Reign of Despot Tyrant Xanthe Brown
“It vill [sic] be the start of something new,” an anonymous source close to the president (herein called Kizzy Illian) shared. “My comrades and I seek the liberation of all members of the Flipside and Northwestern at large; and with support from those directly involved with the Supreme Leader, we believe she will be ousted summarily.”
Local Student Cashes In Childhood State Quarter Collection To Buy Plan B
As it turned out, one entire book of state quarters doesn’t even cover a Plan B pill, even if the Michigan quarter is from 1962.
Bribery, Groveling, and 3 Other Ways to Get Off the Waitlist for That Class You Need to Graduate
The odds that your professor has done something problematic that has ended up online are incredibly high. All you need to do is find the evidence.Â
“She Really Ate!” Local Student Actor Consumes Infant On Stage
“She really ate!” SESP sophomore Chi L’Dvour exclaimed. “I mean, I was expecting another sleepy Shanley production, but this Saturday midafternoon was the tastiest time I’ve had in a while!”