Category Archives: Local

Inclusivity Win! To Welcome in the Holiday Season, Michael Schill Googles Kwanzaa

Now that your roommate has finally returned home from his Halloweekend bender at U of I, it’s time to get ready for the holidays. Reports say that Northwestern’s administration is well-aware of the impending season and is “itching to finally get some good press for the first time since we filled in that lake.” Exclusive reports from within the offices of the Michael Schill, famed cheese lover and pet sniffer, indicate that the institution would like to expand the festivities

Student Found Sobbing After Astronomy Midterm: “I’M A FUCKING SCORPIO, OKAY?”

Lost in the backrooms of Tech, student Aurora Borealis was found breaking down on floor 2, wing Z, hallway θ, inlet ♥, in closet ✴. After being carted to the nearest CAPS office, she admitted what was troubling her: her recent astronomy exam. Unfortunately, there were no zodiac sign questions in sight for this solemn Scorpio. Even after Professor Smutko had made it abundantly clear on day one that it would not be an astrology class, some people were too

Student Announces Big Plans Coming: “There Are Big Plan Coming”: Big Plans Coming for Student: Friends Keep Laughing at “Coming”

Big plans, they come soon, coming soon. Plans, so big, very big, coming this way soon. Plans will come over everywhere soon. Coming, plans are, and there are big, for student, coming for student, in a big way, plans, plans, coming student bigging soon. Oh my gosh, it is going to come soon.

Is Boofing Together The New Brunch Date? Our Sources Say No!

            With cuffing season upon us, it’s more important than ever to have some good date ideas on hand. But finding something creative and fun is hard. Coffee dates are nice, but do you really want to risk shitting your pants from all the caffeine? That’s what we thought. You could do brunch dates, but then again you’re not a millennial with a failing relationship (we assume, no judgment though). That’s why The Flipside sent out a little poll to

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