So Your Marriage Pact Match Is in McCormick. Now What?
Your grief overcomes you and you fall to your knees. It’s so Joever.
Category Archives: Local
Nu Marriage Pact Runs Out of Men, Unintentionally Doubles Lesbian Population
“It’s gotten so bad that I have mistaken multiple twinks for baddies”
Student Found Sobbing After Astronomy Midterm: “I’M A FUCKING SCORPIO, OKAY?”
Lost in the backrooms of Tech, student Aurora Borealis was found breaking down on floor 2, wing Z, hallway θ, inlet ♥, in closet ✴. After being carted to the nearest CAPS office, she admitted what was troubling her: her recent astronomy exam. Unfortunately, there were no zodiac sign questions in sight for this solemn Scorpio. Even after Professor Smutko had made it abundantly clear on day one that it would not be an astrology class, some people were too
French Bed Bugs Arrive In Chicago: “C’est Incroyable! Eet Is A Pizza Baked Like A Pie”
“Zey have the most incroyable food here in Chicago,” said Camille, another bed bug found at an AMC.
Student Announces Big Plans Coming: “There Are Big Plan Coming”: Big Plans Coming for Student: Friends Keep Laughing at “Coming”
Big plans, they come soon, coming soon. Plans, so big, very big, coming this way soon. Plans will come over everywhere soon. Coming, plans are, and there are big, for student, coming for student, in a big way, plans, plans, coming student bigging soon. Oh my gosh, it is going to come soon.
Schill Announces “Operation Fat Goose”; “We Are Going to Fatten the Geese”
“If the geese aren’t fat, they’re useless.”
Is Boofing Together The New Brunch Date? Our Sources Say No!
With cuffing season upon us, it’s more important than ever to have some good date ideas on hand. But finding something creative and fun is hard. Coffee dates are nice, but do you really want to risk shitting your pants from all the caffeine? That’s what we thought. You could do brunch dates, but then again you’re not a millennial with a failing relationship (we assume, no judgment though). That’s why The Flipside sent out a little poll to
DJ Commando Dies Following Sexual Big Bird Tweets
One day, everyone will forget about the Big Birdussy.
“Chicken And Boba” And Other Creative Names For Your Chicken And Boba Shop
In light of the opening of “Chicken and Boba,” the new Chicken and Boba spot in Norris with quite possibly the most creative name of any shop ever to be named, here are several other creative names for your very own Chicken and Boba place.
Ambitious Theatre Major To Put On Unabomber Musical
he project, tentatively titled “Blow Me,” will be a jukebox musical that covers the true story of Ted Kaczynski sending two homemade bombs to Northwestern University in 1978 and 1979.