Morty and ROTC to Unveil New âHands-Onâ Study Abroad Program in Iran
After the wildly unsuccessful âBay of Pigs Internship Programâ, itâs only natural that administration is tightening their application requirements.
Category Archives: Local
Ask Flippy: Iâm Running to Norbucks, Want Anything?
If you donât want caffeine, they have smoothies and stuff, too, I think.
McCormick Student Retakes Rice Purity Test, Finds Score Went Up
âWhen I came here, I had a purity score of 100,â attested Annie Eisenbower, McCormick â23, âbut when I changed into my jammies, after a spirited debate about the role of metaphysics in the world of meta-metaphysics with some colleagues, it went up to 102.â
Ask Flippy: The Walmarts Iâm Buying Keep Mysteriously Burning Down, How Do I Get a Property Loan?
They say that if you give a man a fish, heâll eat for a day, but if you purchase a local Walmart franchise you effectively own all the fish within a two-mile radius.
College Students Replace Coming Out with Declaring Gender & Sexuality Studies Major
âOriginally I was undecided,â claimed Cohen, âbut after my parents thought that I meant âhappyâ when I told them I was gay, I knew that I needed to take drastic measures to communicate my sexuality. So I charged my US Gay & Lesbian History textbooks to my familyâs Amazon account.â
Morty Exits Debt Negotiation Meeting With Bloody Bat, Says He Handled It
Itâs no secret to NU students that the school has problems managing money, from administration blowing millions on football games to continuing to fund the theater program. However, recent statements out of the office of the president indicate that these troubles may be over. When Morty Schapiro went into a budget meeting with several of the financial experts in charge of the universityâs endowment with one of those bats with nails in it, reporters were unsure of the outcome. However
Breaking: That Guy in Your Class Finally Trimmed His Coke Nail
Even the professor seemed impressed when he briefly stopped his teaching halfway through class. âI am so proud ofâŠCole?… for finally trimming his nails,â said Professor Gill, âI know that this journey has been a long one – even longer than his nail was.â
Area Woman Seeking Boyfriend to Split Rent of Nice Studio in the City
âBasically, my standards are that I donât want someone who has a criminal record,â Seymour said, âActually⊠if heâs willing to cover electric, I wouldnât mind a few class-3 misdemeanors.â
Campus Police Record All-Time High Violations of Girl Code During Rush Week
Campus police report that girl code infractions have spiraled beyond the brave forcesâ physical and emotional capabilities.
Safe Bet Area Man Studied Abroad in Western Europe
With the dawn of yet another biting Chicago-area winter comes countless Northwestern undergraduates with stories of daring exploits from their fall quarters spent abroad. While these studentsâ tales may seem enticing at first glance for students who have yet to study outside of Evanston, itâs a pretty safe bet that any given dude you pass on Sheridan studied abroad in western Europe. A 2019 study conducted by ASG indicates that while a whopping 83% of Northwestern undergraduates interested in studying