The Flipside Guide to: staying humble when you single-handedly put your entire hometown back in quarantine
No matter the slack you get from the Moms of Springfield Facebook group, don’t stop partying!
Category Archives: Local
Sad White Guy Has a Guitar and is Making it Everyone’s Problem
“Campus police have had to confiscate or outright destroy over 70 acoustic guitars in the name of aural preservation.”
Breaking: President Schapiro Allows First- and Second-Year Students to Visit Campus Once “As a Treat”
“All first- and second-year students can come visit campus once this winter, if they want,” said Schapiro. “You know, as a treat.”
Report: Bryan from Econ Doesn’t Like Halloween “As an Institution”
“You’re not a sexy cat, or a sexy maid, or a sexy bottle of Suave Men 3 in 1 Citrus Rush Shampoo, Conditioner and Body Wash. You’re just your sad little self, and that should be enough.”
Local Man Picks Random Balkan Country to Form New Personality Around
“I’ve tried to talk to him and make sure he’s doing ok, but he kept shouting about land disputes between Kosovo and Serbia,” explained a close friend, who wished to remain anonymous.
Reckless Student Sends Email To Professor After Only Five Proofreads
Her professor responded thirty seconds later, replying “sure that wold be fine -sent from my iPad.”
Circle Circle Dot Dot Cooties Vaccine Enters Testing Phase
Playground researchers have managed to develop an experimental vaccine using top notch Crayola Magic Marker technology, reducing the risk of cooties transmission by up to 30%.
Classics Curriculum Of English Class Updated To Include All Wattpad Fanfics Opted For Film
In the wake of Wattpad fanfictions like The Kissing Booth and After becoming blockbuster teen movie franchises, one English teacher is leading the charge to get these works of literature where they belong: on the “Classics” section of her syllabus. Keri Schroeder, an Evanston-area high school teacher, first heard of Wattpad in 2019 when some drama students in her classroom “wouldn’t shut up” about how hot the Harry Styles fanfic they were reading was. “At first I was beleaguered, bemoaned, distraught, and in a
20 Years After Recess Tag Ending, Local Woman Remains “It”
“I can’t go out in public anymore. People scatter away from me like I’m a shark in a school of minnows, or as if I passed gas on the rush hour train.”
Popular Twitter Comedian Way Too Excited to Post Face Reveal
After gaining his 90,000th follower, funniest_memes_central tweeted out, “Thanks everybody! 10,000 more follows and I’ll do a face reveal!”