Biden On Hot Mic; “I’m Ready To Join Jimmy On The Astral Plane.”
Not sure that we were meant to hear this.
Category Archives: Latest News
Inspired by Oklahoma Bible Mandate, Trump’s Department of Education to Require DVD Copy of “Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel” in Every US Classroom
āLeftists have taken over our education system and are teaching our children to hate America!ā a Trump administration spokesperson proclaimed to the Flipside in a recent interview. āPresident Trumpās top priority in education is to bring patriotism, western morality, and the word of the Lord back into the American classroom, and weāve decided the best way to do that is with the celebrated 2009 film Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel.ā The specific movie was chosen because it is āPerhaps
Trump to Take Over Greek Life and Rename It American Life
In a shocking new political move in reaction to the rush craze sweeping college campusesnationwide, Trump recently announced he would be renaming Greek life “American life.” In anexclusive interview with Trump, our Flipside reporter, dives deep into this new development. Flipside: So in our current political climate, with increased climate catastrophes and heightenedgeopolitical conflicts, what led you to focus on recoining Greek life “American life?” Trump: Well, we have to remember to be loyal to America and not the illegal
Op-Ed: Look How Quirky I Am, Iām Drinking From a Silly Straw and Speaking in Tongues
āIām not like other girlsā I think to myself as I sip my almond milk latte from my silly straw, listening to the least popular Lana Del Rey songs on Spotify. My laptop is adorned with quotes from shows obscure enough that people are impressed that I know about them, but not so obscure that they canāt recognize them and shower me with praise. And, if thatās not enough, Iām possessed by an ancient Babylonian demon and levitating and speaking in tongues.
To My Teachers: Maybe Itās Good That Iām Not Using My Full Potential
Maybe Iām the only thing that stands between the world and the madness that is me.
Iām On The Deanās List, Little Does He Know Heās On Mine Too
Iām going to get that son of a bitch.
Fall Quarter In Review: I Could Die On This Campus And Nothing Would Change
What a quarter this has been. From late nights ripping my hair out behind a bookshelf in Core, to late nights ripping my hair out in the corner of the quiet section in Mudd, I truly feel like Iāve reached the limit of what Iām going to accomplish at Northwestern. This has all brought me to one conclusion: I could die and nothing on this campus would change. If I got rolled over by a steam roller, Iād just be
Ask Flippy: Why did AJ and Big Justice Give Five Big Booms to that Car?
Backstabber. Et tu, AJ and Big Justice?
Never Fucking Leaving: Trudeau Actually Planning to “Put on a Little Makeup” and Re-run for Prime Minister Disguised as Black Politician
Immediately following Trudeauās resignation as Canadaās Prime Minister, he was spotted stalking up on shades of foundation and concealer that a panicked Sephora representative said ātotally did not match his skin tone.ā
Trump Appoints Young Sheldon as Head of Homeland Security
Since November 5th, the president-elect has made several controversial picks for top positions, including Elon Musk heading the so-called āDepartment of Government Efficiencyā (DOGE). However, even many in Trumpās inner circle have objected to his latest and boldest choice: a literal fourteen-year-old child as Secretary of Homeland Security. Sheldon Lee Cooper, of Medford, Texas, turned down a Ph.D. in physics at Caltech to join the incoming administration, saying that āthe decision was a no-brainer after Meemaw took me to visit