Dear Flippy, So I recently got arrested for something. Don’t ask me what. Anyways, while I was sitting in the clink, I thought, you know, now would be a great time to reread my pocket Constitution, primarily because I was bored but also because there is a very real possibility I could go to prison. Anyways, when I pulled that Constitution out of my pocket, I saw something that made me think of you, my sweet, sweet bear friend: the
But then she went on Instagram reels and was emotionally healed.
In all my four weeks of hardcore, intensive, extensive, rough-and-rowdy intramural frisbee, I’ve never seen a game like the one we put on last week. Now, yes, I know that this team isn’t exactly the 2012 San Francisco Giants, but goddammit that performance we put on could make an angel want to jump of a bridge.
Like the other 150,000,000 people who voted for him, I’m happy with how Yeezy is running this country. Our economy and military have become harder, better, faster, and stronger in responding to foreign aggression. The brilliant financial strategies of the new Fed Chair Pusha T have stopped inflation and reduced the pre-existing economic conditions that created the infamous Gold Diggers. However, I can’t ignore the Pablo Bill which has given us a new national anthem–his 2016 hit song, “Father Stretch
Seven paragraphs of a scorned freshman’s unhinged ramblings on their “satan-spawn” Gen Chem Professor can be replaced with two simple words that convey the same thoughts.
My roommate recently confided his deepest, darkest secret to me: whenever I’m not in the room, he watches “the Hub” and masturbates.
If you or a loved one have a foot fetish, please seek help at 1-800-BITCH-DIE-BITCH.
Hey, guys. so I need your help. Somebody told me today that there’s something happening on Urethra Pain, but I don’t know what that planet is. My astronomy teacher wasn’t very good; in fact, he told me that planets are just oversized paper airplanes that the government launches into the sky when they wants to distract us from the liberal takeover. It took me five years to find out that was wrong. So, I want to be proactive and just
This week, while Harvard put out a statement saying that it would not acquiesce to Trump’s demands, Northwestern took a more Victorian approach.
Firstly, I’ll ask you to remember that there is no truly ethical consumption “content” and that even small creators are still participating in a system that increases the inequality/exploitation that hides this industry from oversight. It suffocates those it takes advantage of who are trying to exact change at the grander level, buried by a number of interconnected goonbait systems.