Off-Campus Student Wonders if 10pm SafeRide Will Get Her to 8 am Class on Time
āUsually if I request my SafeRide at 10pm then it will get to my apartment by 7:55am and I can get to class only ten minutes late.ā
Category Archives: Featured
Sexually Frustrated Freshman Finally Finds Hookup, Out Of Socks To Put On Door
“I go through socks pretty fast because, uh, I change my socks a lot. Itās okay, though. November is coming up soon and Iāll try again then, because of No Nut ā shit, I mean, because the weather is cooler and my feet will sweat less. So, like, I wonāt need to change socks all the time,ā he clarified.
TRUMP IMPEACHED: That Got Your Attention, Huh Paula? Now Will You Please Let Me Talk to the Kids?
In a move preceded only twice in the history of this hallowed nation, House speaker Nancy Pelosi has begun the lengthy journey that could end in — Iām sorry, I canāt do this anymore, Paula pleaseĀ let me talk to the kids. Iāve made mistakes. I know that. Iām not blind to my faults, babe. But I shouldnāt have to get into college at 41, feign interest at the most tedious info meetings Iāve ever been to and go through the
Freshman Praying Willie the Wildcat Doesn’t Awaken Anything In Them
āI hate the Kansas State fans. They think their Willie is so great, but he doesnāt even have fur.ā He then added, ābut Iām not a furry.ā
Op-Ed: No, Josh, I donāt have less friends because Iām a grammar geek…I have fewer friends
Josh, being a grammar geek doesnāt mean I have less friends. It means I have fewer friends.
Freshmen From the South Feel That Theyāre Handling the Current Cold Temperatures Well
āI donāt even own a pair of pants, unless my silk romper counts. But, once I get cold, I canāt even feel my legs or arms anymore so itās not too big of a deal.ā
Margot Lee Shetterly Cancels Campus Visit After Admitting She Didnāt Read Hidden Figures
āI didnāt know if I was really supposed to read it or not.ā Shetterly said. āBut then I started getting more and more emails about it towards the end of the summer and I kinda freaked out, so I decided to just not read it. Also, since when are books like 200 pages?ā
Op-Ed: What I Learned by Eating at Arbyās Every Day of Summer Until They Offered Me a Job
Before you go off and apply to internships and jobs for next summer, take a look at what Iāve learned these past few months.
In an Effort to Reduce Plastic, Fraternity Opts for BODY SHOTS!!!
“Brett Green first came up with the idea for the resolution while slurping up some Fireball from the navel of girl known only to him as āthe Other Sarah.āĀ
Mayfest Secures Duolingo Bird as āEthnic Openerā for Dillo
āFrom day one, we wanted to create a Dillo Day for everyone,ā said Bailee
Golden, Mayfestās Diversity and Inclusion chair. āHaving the multi-lingual Duolingo owl as our āethnic opener,ā if you will, is going to ensure that this Dillo isnāt just for privileged English-speakers.ā