âWell, Iâll simply take every role that comes my way. As a proud member of a minority group, I feel like itâs my duty to act in as many movies as I can. That way, even if I end up being the only Asian actress in Hollywood, the rest of my people can feel represented by me.”
âOriginally I was undecided,â claimed Cohen, âbut after my parents thought that I meant âhappyâ when I told them I was gay, I knew that I needed to take drastic measures to communicate my sexuality. So I charged my US Gay & Lesbian History textbooks to my familyâs Amazon account.â
Itâs no secret to NU students that the school has problems managing money, from administration blowing millions on football games to continuing to fund the theater program. However, recent statements out of the office of the president indicate that these troubles may be over. When Morty Schapiro went into a budget meeting with several of the financial experts in charge of the universityâs endowment with one of those bats with nails in it, reporters were unsure of the outcome. However
Even the professor seemed impressed when he briefly stopped his teaching halfway through class. âI am so proud ofâŠCole?… for finally trimming his nails,â said Professor Gill, âI know that this journey has been a long one – even longer than his nail was.â
âBasically, my standards are that I donât want someone who has a criminal record,â Seymour said, âActually⊠if heâs willing to cover electric, I wouldnât mind a few class-3 misdemeanors.â
Campus police report that girl code infractions have spiraled beyond the brave forcesâ physical and emotional capabilities.
“He touted how he has not put a single penny toward his childrenâs health and well-being, including not paying for vaccinations or shoes.
âTom was very clear: we are keeping Mr. Deruloâs digital penis saved just in case.”
With the dawn of yet another biting Chicago-area winter comes countless Northwestern undergraduates with stories of daring exploits from their fall quarters spent abroad. While these studentsâ tales may seem enticing at first glance for students who have yet to study outside of Evanston, itâs a pretty safe bet that any given dude you pass on Sheridan studied abroad in western Europe. A 2019 study conducted by ASG indicates that while a whopping 83% of Northwestern undergraduates interested in studying
âSure, Professor Pierceâs brutal divorce and struggle with alcoholism is sad, but how else was I supposed to clarify the minor typo in the grading policy?â