20 Years After Recess Tag Ending, Local Woman Remains āItā
āI canāt go out in public anymore. People scatter away from me like Iām a shark in a school of minnows, or as if I passed gas on the rush hour train.ā
Category Archives: Featured
Confused Freshman Discovers That “I Live Right Outside NYC” Could Literally Mean Five Different States
Every year, East Coast residents capitalize on their supposed proximity to New York City, that concrete jungle where dreams come to life, to invoke awe in their geography-challenged classmates from the Midwest.
Class of 2024 to Receive Zoom Virtual Background in Place of Six Flags Trip
The traditional grand finale of Wildcat Welcome, an all-expenses paid trip to Six Flags, was made impossible this year due to the Coronavirus pandemic, leaving the Class of 2024 without the formative first-year experience that many upperclassmen hold dear. But when all else seemed lost, Northwestern released some uplifting news as to how they would make it up to the Class of 2024. According to an email sent by President Morton Schapiro, the Northwestern Administration is bringing Six Flags to
Popular Twitter Comedian Way Too Excited to Post Face Reveal
After gaining his 90,000th follower, funniest_memes_central tweeted out, āThanks everybody! 10,000 more follows and Iāll do a face reveal!ā
Ask Flippy: Is My Boyfriend Cheating On Me, Or Are All Those Texts Just From Kamala Harris?
I mean, if any woman besides me were to be texting my boyfriend, I would want it to be Kamala Harris. I just donāt know what to believe.
“Socially Liberal But Fiscally Conservativeā Econ Bro Supports Women, Calls Female Professor A Bitch
She wasnāt even that hot.
White NU Students Excited to Abolish Greek Life and Oversee the Construction of Near-Identical Social Groups
Well known for their prompt correction of social issues, fraternities and sororities immediately responded to the situation once they reached the adequate threshold of personal shame.
Chick-fil-A Done Being Nice
The employees have responded positively to the changes, even going above and beyond their required training when it came to stripping customers of their morale.
Flipside Investigation: Democracy Watchdog Ranks Among Us Above the United States in List of World’s Most Functioning Democracies
I took it upon myself to travel to The Skeld to investigate just how good of a democracy they have.
Biden Mocks Trump Who āProbably Isnāt Getting Laid At Allā In Quarantine
āI really feel for Olā Donald during his period of isolation. I simply cannot imagine a night without the tunes boppinā, a drink in my hand, and a hot wife to rail, much less two weeks! Itās truly a tragedy of our generation.ā