After a flurry of pointing fingers, entitled cries, and insults too obscene for young ears or Flipside reader eyes, the parents who organized each party settled on the inevitable truth: their children had the audacity to be born on the same day.
Some Republicans are calling fraud about who got a triple-thick black and white milkshake or not, specifically regarding the milk-makeup of the shake. “If you got oat milk instead of real milk it shouldn’t count,” representative Lauren Boebert remarked. “Any weak Lib who can’t handle real American milk is not a real American.”
I was so excited to finally have a threesome with Joe and Kamala!
“You see, cops, they’re never really looking to arrest anyone—so you just gotta play it cool if you get approached by one,” Driver claimed, while sitting in a holding cell at the local police station.
e wanted to display real-life consequences to the unfortunate students who bombed last week’s midterms. Groppenheimer claimed that he proved these students unfit to study engineering because “If they had learned anything from my class, they would’ve been able to fix the bikes.”
I tried asking what sort of problems they were talking about but they just told me I was the problem? That I was some sort of anti-hero? Do they mean antiderivatives? I’ve also been checking the announcements on our math canvas page but all I see is the professor posting the homework due four months from now and seven messages about the TA changing his office hours.
4. Fossil Fuel and Fracking Rig
Divest from YOUR morals tonight, as long as you stay north of Tech. Pro tip: crude oil makes for a fantastic waterproof eyeliner.
Northwestern Football Spends $10 Billion on Performance Enhancing Drugs for Players, Still Can’t Seem to Win
Anyways, to finally answer your question, I don’t know what LeBron would be without his staple commercial for Sprite Cranberry. His acting performance for that ad alone puts him up there with the likes of Leonardo DiCaprio, Denzel Washington, and Harry Styles. It truly made LeBron into what he is today, and we should all be eternally grateful for it. Frankly, it was a cultural reset, and that’s that. Glad I could be of assistance. Actually, before I go, I think it’s about time I ask YOU a question. So, I’ll leave you with just this one quick query: Wanna Sprite Cranberry?
“Who cares about the environment?!” he shouted from his hospital bed. “I’m trying to save all of humanity!”