Honestly It Shouldn’t Be That Hard to Avoid Eleven Bread for Eight Days
First of all, what do they mean when they say “eleven bread”? Eleven pieces of bread? Eleven slices? Eleven baguettes?
Category Archives: Featured
Op-ed: Which Chipette is best to perform at your divorced dad’s birthday party?
The Chipettes are sunshine and rainbows with a side of pizzaz. They’re furry, but they’re not furries, making them perfectly dad-appropriate. And they have just enough sass to entertain a man who has lost his personality and the love of his life.
These Are the Best Weights to Be
What weight should you be? This ever-salient question women around the world have debated since time immemorial, and men around the world have debated since Clavicular hit that guy with a Cybertruck last December.
UN Peacekeepers Briefed On Disturbing Emergence Of Talitubbies
Over the hills and far away, Talitubbies DO NOT come to play. Tinky Winky, Dipsy, maLaalaa and Po are indistinguishable because they are under burkas. Hibatullah Akhundzada rises above the hills of Afghanistan but he’s much scarier than ye ol’ teletubby as he does not have a cute, sexy, raspy British accent. Maybe if he had the accent, shakira law would be more acceptable. Still, hips don’t lie. They are coming for your children. United Nations peacekeepers were reportedly briefed
Op-Ed: Social media sucks these days! I miss when there was no toxicity or image-crafting, just a guy on horseback informing you of your son’s gruesome death at Gettysburg
We need to return to a simpler, better age: when the only social media was an army officer riding to your farm on horseback to tell you that your son was blown to bits by General Lee’s artillery at Gettysburg.
From the California Gold Rush (1849): “I Ain’t Sayin She’s a Gold Sifter, Ezekiel, But She Only Wants You for Your Fancy Pantaloons!”
I knew from the moment that Mary Elizabeth first laid her greedy eyes on the fake pearl buttons on your trousers in Fort Laramie that a gold-sifter was about to enter our lives. In that moment, she realized she had found her ticket to all the wealth of the west, because she found the kind of buster that would spend a whole half-dollar on some pantaloons.
Perry the Platypus Sees His Shadow, 6 More Weeks of Nefarious Scheming To Come
Just earlier this year, the mad man’s antics included creating
a device that would disable all electric vehicle batteries and force commuters to overload
Danville’s poor public transport systems, brainwashing pigeons into stealing people’s jewelry
and bringing it to him, and infecting the city’s water supply with cholera.
Millions Realized They Were Deceivemaxxed As Clavicular Forced To Gymcopemax After Being Auramogged While Benchpressing, Cortisol Spiked After Framemogg Nuked By Gymratmoids
You can imagine the dismay I felt when I saw Clavicular having to gymcopemax after being auramogged by gymratmoids for only benching 135lbs.
El Mencho Killed By Mexican Forces, El Muncho (Me) NextÂ
You get a little too amorous with somebody in the passenger seat of a 2002 Subaru WRX outside of a Denny’s ONE TIME, and suddenly, it’s all you can ever be known for.Â
From the Archives: Flippy’s Mischievous but Good-Hearted Sidekick, Jumpy, Killed in Firefight with Vietcong Forces Outside Saigon (1968)
Flipside can now confirm that Jumpy, Flippy’s mischievous sidekick, was among the 10 Americans killed in the early morning hours of February 3rd, 1968.