Ask Flippy: If thinking makes me am, is am I thinking because am I is?
Listen close. Descartes said that thinking makes me am. If true is this… I have question.
Category Archives: Featured
From the Archives (1355): My Lord Spoke to Thy Lord and he Said we Need to Hookup to Save Our Two Kingdoms
My Lord, the most gentle Prince of all the realm, spaketh to thy Lord and, upon hearing his reply, made note that we are instructed to hookup in order to save our Kingdoms from the heathen invaders. Thy Lord’s message was most clear, our two shires may be separated by many a mile and rivers flowing, and may be bitter foes of ancient times, but we must put aside our respective differences to unite our forces and beat back the
Op-ed: How I would use Freudian psychoanalysis to overcome the big red balls from Wipeout
Don’t you see the problem? With no dick-like object, the big red balls evoke the fear of castration, putting the contestant at a psychological disadvantage.
Northwestern Fight Song to Become Enlightened Disagreement Song
he overall runtime has been extended to 47 minutes, owing in large part to the inclusion of a full-length video course on bystander intervention training.
Forno Pizza Faces Campus Backlash After Unveiling New Slogan “Oh Yeah, Put It In Your Dirty Little Mouth”
In a disgusting, but also kinda hot, move, Forno Pizza has faced recent backlash amongst Northwestern students after unveiling their new slogan.
Local Empath Helps out Homeless Woman and Child by Matching Pieces of Furniture to Build Better Pieces of Furniture to Decorate Their Shack
Ms. Path felt she should use her time and money to assist this poor family. Redhead Child is freezing! So, she immediately downloaded the app (for $4.99) and got to work.
Student Punished for Line Violation at Porno Pizza; Hammurabi’s Code Invoked.
On Wednesday afternoon, a female student at Porno Pizza committed the grave error of approaching the personal pie line while intending to order a slice. Eyewitnesses report that she was immediately seized and escorted to the rear of the establishment, where staff administered the punishment prescribed by the Porno Code, an adaptation of Hammurabi’s ancient legal statutes codified in grease-stained laminate. According to witnesses, the student pleaded for leniency. “I just wanted a slice,” she reportedly said. “I didn’t know.”
Frances Searle Hall, Foster-Walker Complex, and other Northwestern Panopticons
Fortunately, the buildings are already designed to allow them to monitor many more students with much less manpower.
Jesus Announces That No One Qualified for Rapture
In a revelation that has scandalized American evangelicals and other communities suffering from elevated rates of neurosis, Jesus Christ announced in a Xweet that the long-awaited Second Coming indeed took place midday Tuesday.
Fever-Induced Chills A Problem No Longer: Trump Declares Global Warming As Medicinal Substitute For Tylenol
With a Big Mac in one hand, and a concept of a plan in the other, the President got to work