From the Archives–Op-Ed: Charlie Chaplin should Stick to Silent Movies, Keep his Political Views out of Talkies
This film is his first “talkie” and boy does he talkie a lot.
Category Archives: Entertainment
Margot Lee Shetterly Cancels Campus Visit After Admitting She Didn’t Read Hidden Figures
“I didn’t know if I was really supposed to read it or not.” Shetterly said. “But then I started getting more and more emails about it towards the end of the summer and I kinda freaked out, so I decided to just not read it. Also, since when are books like 200 pages?”
Mayfest Secures Duolingo Bird as “Ethnic Opener” for Dillo
“From day one, we wanted to create a Dillo Day for everyone,” said Bailee
Golden, Mayfest’s Diversity and Inclusion chair. “Having the multi-lingual Duolingo owl as our ‘ethnic opener,’ if you will, is going to ensure that this Dillo isn’t just for privileged English-speakers.”
Write-in Vote for Bruce Curlee, The Chicago Metropolitan Area’s Fourth Best Mick Jagger Impersonator, Goes Unheard By Mayfest
“I just can’t get no satisfaction,” says the impersonator who vaguely resembles Mick Jagger.
Report: Your Mayfest Friend Quiet All of a Sudden
In situations where she might find herself saying, “you’ll never guess who’s going to be on the Main Stage this year!” or “Guys, I have literally wanted a Ferris wheel on the Lakefill since I was born,” she now just stands there without making a peep.
Mayfest: “We’ll Just Throw Drunk People in the Lake, OK??”
“After the event, we can just take a big net and scoop everybody into it. Just grab each person’s Wildcard information and send them home.”
A$AP Greg to Replace A$AP Ferg At Dillo Day
After it was announced yesterday A$AP Ferg would no longer be able to attend Dillo as he mourns the passing of his pet chihuahua Philip, a replacement was quickly found in rising rap sensation and Northwestern Physics Professor Gregory Smithson, better known by his stage name A$AP Greg. A$AP Greg was born on the mean streets of Wilmette, Illinois, is a divorcee with two adult daughters Julia and Kristin and drives a 2006 Toyota Corolla he calls Linda. Greg is
Crowd, in Unison, Says “Nice” After A$AP Ferg Says 69
“It makes me glad to know that 69 is still a powerful unifying force to this day.”
Gotta Go Fast: Animators Rush to Overhaul Sonic Movie in Month-Long Adderall Bender
“I’m already on Adderall because I have ADHD,” said animator Ryan Fogel, “But I started crushing and snorting it, and oh my GOD it’s so much better!”
Not To Be Outdone, Thomas the Tank Engine Writers Announce Percy is Pansexual
Percy, the lovable small green engine, will reportedly explore his newfound attractions to his fellow trains, Emily and Gordon, in a three episode arc which will culminate with, as Wagner put it, “the most passionate love-making scene, the likes of which the Island of Sodor has never seen.”