For the time being, the Academy Awards will go on sans a host, demonstrating to audiences everywhere that the literal concept of nothingness is still preferable to R. Kellyâs presence.
âThis is childish even for him,â said MacKenzie, âheâs turned into the Monopoly Man except with stupid aviators and weirdly muscular arms.â
A previously unreleased concept art poster shows him alongside the other heroes with the tagline, âForget Infinity War: Thisis the most ambitious cross-over in history.â
âThis is classic Marvel: characters fake their deaths all the time. It’s just like in the first Thor when Loki seemed to die in a black hole but then returned to Asgard in the next movie.”
“What really put me over the edge was a scary clown handing me my CHEM 212 grade and saying, âOh no, I guess mommyâs little boy wonât be a doctor after all!ââ
âRight about then you would look for a YouTube tutorial, but then we remembered that YouTube wasnât working, and also that we work for YouTube.â
At press time, the 40-year old man operating @myqueentorivega69 briefly considered getting a job before converting his fanpage to an iCarly account in hopes of regaining Davidsonâs approval.
Cornelius will have an uphill battle ahead of himâthat is, in addition to losing his virginity, he also has to talk to a female for the first time.
“I didnât know what any of those words meant, but I figured Iâd start with finding out who this Pusher Tee is.â
Mayfest released a statement this week regarding the addition: âWe know that not everyone wants to listen to random bands and rappers that they sort of vaguely know, so, we decided to bring in those podcasters that youâve been meaning to listen to but just havenât had the time lately.â