“You and all our readers know that I take a particularly hard stance on crime — more specifically, that it’s often the best way to make some good of a bad situation!”
All you need is a couple extra straps (courtesy of Pitney Bowes) and a plastic knife from the dining hall to carve out a hole for the head.
“At first, I didn’t mind, since I’m tremendously committed to school spirit.”
Before I knew it, I had run out of cool gay fits to showcase
I mean, I do love how Larry only seasons it with too much mayo, salt, and a little bit of pepper.
The other day, I went to get my second semiweekly rapid test, expecting the interaction to be the same as usual: walk in, show my silly little apps to the workers, and engage in the voyeuristic practice of having a mid-twenties man make fierce eye contact while I twirl a silly little q-tip in my nose. But all of a sudden, it’s gotten so much worse!
Then I look over at Chad Chadson’s post and he has response after response. I mean come on! All he said was that women are “cool” and that we just need to “like not be sexist”. Even my TA dropped a response: “So true bestie”. Am I that irrelevant?
Spam Risk sounds kind of rugged. Smells like pine. Those two-syllable names really get me. Like… James Bond. Or Hugh Grant.
I’m sick of making excuses like “I have projectile diarrhea”.
But I’ve already done my birth chart, Flippy, and it’s bad! King Julian sun, Maurice moon, and Mort rising? How am I supposed to get any pussy with a Mort rising?