Ask Flippy: Kamala Harris Ghosted Me on Wednesday Morning After I Sent Her $100. Am I Being Too Eager?
I was so excited to finally have a threesome with Joe and Kamala!
Category Archives: Ask Flippy
Ask Flippy: (From Math Student) Where On Canvas Are These Taylor Series Due At Midnight And Why Do I Need Apple Music To Solve It?
I tried asking what sort of problems they were talking about but they just told me I was the problem? That I was some sort of anti-hero? Do they mean antiderivatives? I’ve also been checking the announcements on our math canvas page but all I see is the professor posting the homework due four months from now and seven messages about the TA changing his office hours.
Ask Flippy: How Does Sprite Cranberry Affect LeBron’s Legacy?
Anyways, to finally answer your question, I don’t know what LeBron would be without his staple commercial for Sprite Cranberry. His acting performance for that ad alone puts him up there with the likes of Leonardo DiCaprio, Denzel Washington, and Harry Styles. It truly made LeBron into what he is today, and we should all be eternally grateful for it. Frankly, it was a cultural reset, and that’s that. Glad I could be of assistance. Actually, before I go, I think it’s about time I ask YOU a question. So, I’ll leave you with just this one quick query: Wanna Sprite Cranberry?
Ask Flippy: Can You Quickly Check If I Bled Through My Pants But Like Don’t Make It Obvious?
If everyone sees you staring at my butt, they’ll know I’m on my period and that would obviously be the worst possible thing to happen to me or anyone in the history of time for reasons I’m unaware of, but I’d for sure have to drop out of school, so can you please just do this for me?
Ask Flippy: Where Do I Find Valid Shawties Who Will Also Support My Ambitions In Political Science?
I’m just looking for a valid, down-to-earth betty who can hold my hand, both at Naturdays with the boys and on the campaign trail. Everyone knows you’re a stronger candidate with some hot wife material behind you. Plus, I still haven’t found anyone who’s willing to lay out my clothes the night before like my mom used to do – and also kiss me with tongue the way I hope my mom never does.
Ask Flippy: Do You Think my Bitmoji is Hotter than Me? I Feel Like my Bitmoji is Hotter than Me. Ok, Fuck-Marry-Kill, ready? Me, my Bitmoji, and Jake from Subway Surfers.
As someone whose celebrity crush is Flynn Rider—in his animated form, not like a human-version—I can kind of understand the Bitmoji appeal. But I can’t handle that little bitch being hotter than me, so I need your input.
Ask Flippy: I Want to Write a Novel, But I’ve Never Fought in the Spanish Civil War or Emotionally Abused a Woman. What Should I Do?
Never fear! Many authors who know nothing about women have written pages and pages about them.
Ask Flippy (Film Guy Perspective): What??? You HAVEN’T SEEN The Dark Knight??? Okay Hahaa We Toootally Have to Watch it Sometime
Um anyway I was just thinking about The Dark Knight. It’s such a classic and Gary Oldman is so sexy
Ask Flippy: Help! I Can’t Write Essays Anymore Without the White Noise of Violent Coughing. What Should I Do?
But what’s even crazier is that it seems like my work is at its peak when the coughs around me are particularly nasty. Or in simpler terms: the wetter the better!
Ask Flippy: Did I Get a Registration Hold Because I Didn’t Wish Morty a Happy Halloween?
You fucked up. You really fucked up.