It has also been rumored that the board may be holding auditions for a penny whistle player the lead the army of awkward and purple-clad freshman onto Ryan Field during halftime.
“It was a difficult spot to snatch,” said Hanley. “A creative writing grad from last year had been hanging out there, but I scared her off with my even bleaker outlook.”
Your mailman Megan deliver you a package from Dick’s? That’s what they said!
At 9 p.m. last night, chess club president Jonny Kaplan, MEAS ’18, found the room he’d reserved in Kresge completely empty, burst into tears and cried out “They must have midterms!”
“The first time he locked me out and I tried opening the door, he yelled ‘don’t come in!’ with an alarming amount of panic in his voice, so I naturally assumed he was in there with a girl.”
“It was hard to tell with those Physics kids, but it all became clear when we entered an English classroom. Those kids wouldn’t go near a number unless it had to do with the grade they think decides their future.”
Wells proceeded to stop in the middle of an extremely crowded Sheridan and begin crying so vehemently, onlookers thought she might have suddenly started a hyena-like street performance.
“Experts say Jones was supplying the MGMT to students via iPod Nanos.”
“I’m into Poli Sci, sorta. I guess. But I also think bio might be cool. Oh and journalism could be interesting. Honestly, who knows?”
Most members of Mayfest have agreed that if Dillo is only rained out, they can deal with more “Fuck Mayfest” messages. One member said they had gotten used to it and even kind of missed it.