Area Magician Confused Why He Keeps Making Girls Disappear
Magicians, who often have to skip high school dances in order to hone their skills, have historically struggled to gain any sort of interest from women.
Category Archives: No. 223
SOFO To Require “Blood of the Treasurer” to Get Vouchers Reimbursed
The form process is expected to take two to three business days, after which the representatives on the third floor will hand off the supplies to the treasurers, that is if they can find your specific set of bottles and needles in the piles of paperwork laying around.
NU Landscaping Tells Terrified Morty About the Birds and the Bees
Repeatedly stopping to calm down the jittery college president, sources reported today that Northwestern landscaping officials told Morton Schapiro all about the birds and the bees.
Area Loser Learns He Can Masturbate Without Crying
“There I was, just going through the motions with my tear bucket and picture of Melisandre from Game of Thrones, and somehow I just started playing the skin flute without anything coming out! Of my eyes that is.”
Theatre Major in Front Row Ruins Lecture Yet Again
This is reportedly the seventh time lecture has been derailed by this repeat offender with no sign of remorse.
Op-Ed: We, Your Unread Emails, Plead for Release from our Suffering
Delete us. There is no beauty in our sentience, our existence is designed for termination and prolonging it is agony.
Ann Coulter Knows What It’s Like to Feel Unsafe in White Suburban Neighborhood
Coulter felt like she was a changed woman after definitely having experienced what some of the “urbanites” do.