Melania Concerned with How to Represent a Country She Isn’t From
“When I married Donald, I thought I would be able to live the pampered life of an Eastern-European trophy wife.”
Category Archives: No. 215
NASCAR Celebrates First Openly Liberal Driver
Tandel Jr. drives the first Smart Car to be rigged up with an 850 horsepower engine.
Girlfriend Prepares for 30 Solid Seconds of Action
“I’ll try to cut down the foreplay to the first two seconds so we can get right into the action.”
Pencil Tappers Arrested in Massive Morse-Code Cheating Ring
“After the time came for the short answer section, the tapping went from ‘Amateur Drum Solo’ to ‘Pissed-Off Flock of Woodpeckers.’”
FCC to Mandate “Newspeak” Browser Extension
Under the regulation, every American will be required to use a browser extension that translates potentially subversive texts to politically acceptable language, to take effect February 25.
Area Man to Stop Calling Women “Females” For Valentine’s Day
Women should be able to not have sex if they don’t want to, Holbrook said, provided that they’ll still do “stuff under the table at Chili’s.”
Op-Ed: Will You Be My Valentine and Co-Sign My Loan?
“There’s nobody sexier or more financially solvent than you, baby, and this Valentine’s Day I want you to feel special.”