Morty Goes as “Sexy Safe Space” for Halloween
“His costume totally rejected gender binary,” said Veronica Keller, SESP ’20. “You honestly couldn’t tell if he was being slutty in a dude way or a girl way.”
Category Archives: Issue 205
Area Freshman Drops High School Boyfriend Instead
“Each time he texted me something cute—and we’d text for hours—I’d blush and daydream for 10 minutes. There’s not enough time in a day for all of that, with homework, classes, and my weekly lab.”
Area Senior Saved Drops for This Year
He has already completed his foreign language requirement, his major requirements, five of the six distro areas, and, for some reason, a minor in geography.
Trump Star Smashed Like Trump Smashes Pussy: Without Consent
More and more Americans are becoming convinced that these were less consensual acts on Mr. Trump’s part than they were an unasked-for hammering.
Roommate Mumbles Communist Manifesto in His Sleep
“I’ve never had a history of sleep talking and, more importantly, I’ve never read the damn thing!”
Hillary: I’m Reaching Out to Everyone, But Especially You. Yes, You.
Despite the sea of people that also received her plea, you should feel honored. Be gratified.
Jill Stein: I Can Say Racist Stuff Too
“I can say racist stuff too. If the American people want me to drop a couple slurs here and there, I’ll gladly do it for the good of America.”
Breaking: NAFTA
As repeatedly cited by Donald Trump during tonight’s debate, NAFTA exists. Soon, it might not.