Siemian’s promotion means he will follow in the footsteps of many previous Northwestern graduates who also work long, intense hours in ultra-competitive, high-turnover professions.
Sources report that this revelation occurred when he saw Donald Trump insult veterans, Muslims, Republicans, and fucking babies in just the past week.
It has often been noted that Hillary is “likeable enough,” but struggles to inspire people with the shameless optimism and charm of Reagan.
Sources close to the out-going mayor see how hard Tisdahl works to ease the Town and Gown and Town and Hijab relations.
Over the past few months, Obama has dropped Clinton not-so-subtle hints that he would like to be considered as her Supreme Court nominee once Donald Trump’s campaign sufficiently implodes.
Apart from increased opportunities for face-to-face maternal judgment, sudden discoveries of school-year secrets also contribute to July’s status as the golden days of parental condescension.